You mean everything to me
by elavish
Summary: Burktina, after the wedding, Cristina left Seattle. It's three years after sesone 3 finale. One rainy day, Cristina and Burke encountered in a shopping mall. accidentally. Bang will never be over.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter1** **2007. At Massachusettse, Cristina**

It's a very rainy day. in spite of the weather, there are many cars in the parking lot. Cristina is getting off the car and she is talking to herself.

"_what a beautiful morning it is!! this is so suitable with my first-day-off-in-three-years_"

muttering at herself, she is entering the department store.

Three years ago, when Cristina left Seattle, she was crying and she was just alone, even without her person. At the airport, she called Meredith but she was not at her home. So, she left a voice mail that she was leaving and she called later. When she came to the Seattle for being a best surgeon in the world, she was happy and ambitious but when she left Seattle, she was broken, sad and exhausted. All she knew was she had to leave the town, which broke her horribly with a beautiful man, which broke her so badly with a love. In her leaving moment, she was crying and decided that this crying was gonna be the last crying in her life . Talking to herself that made her feel less embarrassed for last crying. She didn't know what to do and what to say and even didn't know why she was crying, she couldn't help but cry at the time in front of strangers just like a parents-lost child. The day when she left Seattle was a heavy rainy day too.

After arriving Massachusettse, she called Meredith again, who found out her missing by recognizing her locker was totally clean and empty.

"It's me, Mere. "

"Where are you? If you failed the wedding, you didn't fail to be a surgeon. Didn't you change your goal being a surgeon into being a hospital janitor, did you? " Mere said.

"Mere, I'm in Massachusettse."

"Why? You remember you are being a resident tomorrow!! You're supposed to be in here, tomorrow morning. Why are you freaking inMassachusettse?"

"I know tomorrow, I am a resident. I'm gonna be a resident here, not in Seattle."

"What?"

"Mere, I moved to here. Today, I'm at the airport."

"You moved to Massachusettse, not even telling me, me, your person?"

"Sorry, Mere. I just could't be there. sorry."

"Bailey knows, chief knows?"

"I told the chief yesterday. now Bailey knows, I think."

"Cristina,.. you O.K?"

"Mere, I don't know. To be O.K, I have to move out. I thought I would not be O.K there."

"I'm gonna miss you, everyday."

"I'm your person even my freaking leaving, right?"

"you are always my person. promise me to call me everyday"

"yeah, I'm gonna do if you don't agreed. then, I have to go. bye Mere"

In last three years, she never had had the day off. of course, she had left the hospital for the official hospital work but this time, she is being in a personal leave. After the non- happy -ended the wedding and moving to Massachusettse, the only thing she did was just work. Her dedications to the hospital was not optional, just she had to do that. Because whenever she was outside the hospital, without patients and surgeries, automatically, she just missed "him", his voice, his kiss, his eyes, his everything. Whenever she drinked coffee alone in her appartment, she just felf as if he was taking a bath in the bath room and walking into the kitchen soon. But, in reality, there was no more "him" for her. So, denying the truth that she was being alone and she was being left in the church, she just had to work.

She worked even on christmas, new years day and of course the thanksgiving. All people in the Harvard Clinic said the only thing she needed desperately was a cool surgery except the oxygen. Sometimes other male doctors in the hospital said that she might be doing a surgery on her pets in her own home during the dinner or she might be doing a surgery on her date in the bed doing "it" with her partner. When she first heard that, she was a little pleased beacuse she thought those comments about her as compliments or respects for her , at least she thought those people were jealous of her.

After coming home, being tired and sad, everyday she called Mere although there was three hours of time difference between the girls, Cristina always used to be home enough late to catch up Meredith's time, it was not the problem. They were still their persons for each other.

When she was coming into a elevator, she heard a woman calling her name. it was Mrs. Dones. The chief of surgery's wife. The chief of surgery in Harvard clinic was a dad-like person to her. Dr. Dones was one of her professor in Stanford. He was a very competent , world renowned and very kind man. The reason she moved to Massachusetts was his offer to her.

"Cristina!!"

"Hi, Monica!, good to see you here!"

"Cristina, so long time no see!, how have you been?"

"I'm good. you know, hospital, surgery things.."

"Oh, honey, Brandon is so worried about you. you have to take a rest. Look at you.

you seem you lose so many pounds now than when I saw you last time."

"it's impossible. if you once look at me in lunch time, you can't say that, definitely!"

"Cristina, listent to me. take a time, you get to have a happy life, personal life. believe me. "

"all right.."

Then, the door is open.

"I'm afraid I have to go. I'm supposed to be with my friend at noon. so, call me we have to take a time for making a personal life to you. I have plenty of numbers for very charming gentleman's number."

smiling for Monica, she answers

"o.k., I promise that. bye"

"bye, Cristina!"

At least, the fact for her weight, it's true. it's not the first time to hear that comment for her weight. she heard some nurses talking about her. they said she looked more gorgeous, sexier and more elegant. Pete, an old friend and a doctor in the same hospital, who was dating with a man, also praised for her new look repeatedly. Recently, she lost her weight ten pounds at least in last two months. she just thought that she was too busy to take a well balanced meal. She couldn't realize that until she saw herself into the mirror in this morning, the skirt it used to suit to her well was too big for her now. so, today, she is shopping for herself. Some skirts and shirts.

She is coming into the Michael Kors shop, the manager is walking to her.

"hi, my name is Sarah. what can I help you?

"thank you, can I be looking around?"

"of course, but. your hair is so wonderfully well with your look"

Looking around the place, Cristina is finding out a wonderful violet shirts and a cream colored ivory skirt. As soon as she's picking up the shirt, suddenly her favorite shirt which belonged to "him" flashed upon her head.

"definitely, I should not buy these things."

Against her, she realized herself buying those outfit hearing the manager's voice complimenting her gorgeous look.

Getting outside the shop, suddenly a familiar voice was getting close to her. Cristina was looking around the whole floor to figure out the voice she heard but there was nothing. She thought she was wrong. It was not possible to happen to her. Smirking at herself, she blamed her stupidity. "How silly still thinking about him, come on Cristina! Delusion is not your things!!"

But, once again, the voice, which once made her happy and smile, was coming to her. It was not definitely a delution. When she looks the other way, around the corner, he was standing with a happy smile, with a beautiful lady. They were coming to her.

A/N : This is my first fic. I figured out this story after seeing season3 finale. So, please let me know about what you think. Plase!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter2.**

**2007 At Massachusetts, Burke**

It was the first time of his leaving Alabama. In last three years, he just clung to the hospital, literally clung to it. He was the person who came into the hospital the first and went out the hospital the last. On the day when he left Cristina in the church, he came into Alabama, to his family. He did not mention to them anything about him and Cristina. His mother and father didn't even dare to ask to him about the wedding. For almost one month after the wedding and coming back to his family, he just played the trumpet eagerly and just went running around the park for getting rid of her in his heart. When he gave a package for his stuff and the Burke-choker from her, there was no visible note from Cristina, not even a post-it. But in his dreams, everyday, he could see Cristina was lying on her bed motionlessly and she was crying without any sound when she lost the first child. He was very terrified whenever he was thinking of her sadness and her pain. But, he talked to himself that it was all for her happiness. He wanted to have a happy life with her, make a family and be parents with his Cristina. When he first saw her in the hospital, he just knew that Cristina, strong willed, competitive, and beautiful was his love of life. So he made her move in, he made her get married to him and made her wear the big white dress. But, in the church waiting for her to come along the aisle, he realized that the life he made was not for her, it just was for himself. He was just nothing but a terribly selfish guy to her. So, he couldn't progress the wedding. And he left her, he had to do. Levaving his love, the breathtakingly beautiful girl with a wedding dress, behind, he walked way the church and he disappeared from the previous life by two, feeling miserable and sad.

As soon as he got a job in the hospital, Alabama, he was the most popular guy in the hospital. All single nurses, patients and even doctors, even married women who just saw him one time in the hospital were trying to get an attention from him. There was a serious stalker. But, because he had made his mind not to date with a girl in the hospital so he definitely had not date with any girl he met in the hospital. The first thing he did when he was used to being with new hospital was calling to Derek. It was almost three months after his leaving.

"Dr. Sheppard!"

"Preston, glad to hear you. How have you been?"

"Not so bad. How have you been there? How about being chief?"

"If I had known this place is so terrible like this before, I would never taken this job. It sucks"

"I'm glad to hear that!! Good luck! Is everyone O.K? "

"If the word contains 'her', I have no idea about that and the word doesn't, everyone is O.K."

"Derek, what do you mean?

"She left Seattle after one week the wedding, even without telling that to Meredith."

"Do you have any idea where she is?"

"Well, all I hear is she is in East. That's all. Meredith doesn't tell anything about her. Even to George and Izzie. But I'm sure she knows her whereabouts. You want me to ask her about that?"

"Never mind. Derek, I just called to say hello to you. I have a surgery in 15minutes. I gotta go."

"O.K Preston, I'll call you later then, bye"

As a matter of fact, if he tried to keep track with her, it would not be a very tough job. A couple of phone calls could tell him about where she was easily. But, literally, he could not to. If he heard her voice once, he would go directly where she was. That meant he made her life unhappy again. So he could not do anything involved with her.

His parents talked to him they wanted him to marry and have a normal family repeatedly. So, he had a blind date with a woman, whom his mama wanted him to meet, whose name was Anna and job was a fashion designer. She was tall, slim and had a beautiful brown hair. She was so kind and sweet, above all, she really wanted to have her own family. His parents were really glad when they realized their son was going out with Anna but Burke was not as glad as his parents were. Whenever he saw Anna, he saw Anna's brown hair, Cristina's curly messy hair overlapped Anna's repeatedly. He didn't know why but it happened so naturally. In their first date, he came so close to calling Anna Cristina because she wore the same dress which Cristina wore in their first date. Anna looked very graceful but he couldn't stop thinking of Cristina in whole night. That was why he decided to go out with Anna again. Anna and Cristina had not common things in their appearance but, in some area like taste in clothing and eating, they were so similar. When they had been dating for six months, Anna launched her own label and opened some shop in department , East. He was glad her success, he liked her because she was a nice person. So when she asked him to go with her shop opening party to Massachusetts, he said O.K. He knew that she was waiting for his proposal and the ring, well, wedding stuff, but, he wasn't sure if he wanted a life with Anna because he still missed the black curly hair, messy girl every morning and evening. So, he was waiting for sure moment for the wedding with Anna. Thankful to her, she was very considerate and waiting for him, not saying anything to him. Although he knew she was a very very decent person enough patient to wait for his proposing and hesitating, but he couldn't propose to her like he did compulsively to Cristina.

When he came into the department store arm in arm with her and walked to the elevator, the elevator door was closing. But in that moment he felt thathe saw a very familiar curly hair through the elevator cleft. As soon as he thought he saw the black hair, hid body was getting too tension to move his leg in one inch. Realizing his body's tension, Anna asked to him

"Honey, you're O.K?"

"Yes, I'm fine, fine"

_'Damn it, still __still__, come on Preston Burke.' muttering to himself, he came to the reality. _

There are many people in the building, especially in the lady clothes floor. Anna's shop is very fancy and glamorous. She seems to be very proud of herself and he likes to see her confident smile. Anna said to him she had something to do in shop and she wanted him to wait in there for a minute. He nodded to her but he felt a little cramped and went outside the shop. He just walked a little along corridor then, the voice saying "thank you" was coming to him. His pulse was starting racing and his blood was moving so fast all over the body suddenly. This voice, he was hearing, in three years, was hers. When he was turning around the direction the voice was coming to, he couldn't breathe. There was her, it couldn't be happening. In last three years, he denied enough desperately to not mention her name even one time when making a phone call to Derek, his friend and the person who might know about Cristina that he missed her , wanted to hear her voice and wanted to see her. Then, here, she was standing there , in front of him, within his reach. He couldn't take off his eye on her. She was looking herself into her through the window, without noticing him. He thought she was still beautiful, more beautiful than three years ago. His heart kept telling him to walk forward her, touch her, grab her and kiss her but his legs were against to the heart. He couldn't move anything in his body. He was just staring her, motionlessly, breathlessly, just looking at her.

_'I have to talk to __her,__ I can't be here just like this, like a cadaver,' _

When he was talking to himself, encouraging himself to move, he felt a little Anna's tug.

"Honey, let's go. We have to shop for your mom and dad but before that, we have to eat something, I'm really, really starving."

When he felt Anna's voice and turned toward her, Anna was making arm in arm with him and smiling to him. After giving her a smile quickly and turning around for the direction she was, then, he couldn't find her, like a sweet daydream, she disappeared.

He actually couldn't hear Anna's talking about today's event, he was just eagerly searching of her appearance in the crowd like a dad in search of his lost child. But, he couldn't find her. There was no more, her.

A/N : merderdreamy5, addexluv thanks fou your review. Then I'll post this, Please let me know whay you think about this story..


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3. Should we have to say goodbye?_**

****

**_At the ladies room_**

Rushing into the ladies room, slamming the door, she was trying to relax and take a deep breath. As soon as she looked into the mirror, she was wiping out the tears on the cheek rapidly. After deciding to not cry in three years ago, this was the first tear, from her eyes. She was a little surprised of finding her confused out in front of him. She had thought several times about what her reaction would be if she meeted him accidently. Ignoring him, just staring him with no word or treating him like an old friend, thoes turned out her impossible hope as soon as she saw Burke. She had practiced and practiced her answer for Burke's questions about how she had been. And she hoped she could kick his ass as a revenge for her pain or at least she hoped that she could prove he was just nothing but a male roommate and she would be good more without him. But her wishes were all in vain. Being in tears in her eyes and standing up just like a window dummy, it was never, ever considered as her reaction. Trying to breathe, she thought that he was same as three years ago, his voice, his smile and his handsome face. She closed her eyes in attempt to recall his face a few minutes ago but she couldn't do that. Unlike to her memory about him three years ago, his face, in a few seconds ago, was so vague. The beautiful girl with him was ruining her moment.

_Damn__ I__defiinitely__ have to call to Meredith!!' _

Meredith, George, Izzie and Alex were in Joe's. They were chatting about their stupid routine and crappy interns. Chatting, drinking and complaining, everything was same but, Meredith felt a little alone. Izzie, Alex, and George were all her good friends. Izzie and Geroge always did a very sweet thing and very helpful to her. But Meredith missed all the time Cristina even her bitter sarcasm. Then, suddenly Meredith's phone rang.

"Mere, it's emergency. You have to talk with me, right now, even you are doing 'it' with Mcdreamy!!"

Cristina was always making her smile.

"O.K, go ahead." Meredith said.

"I'm in department store.".

"I don't think shopping is a disaster, it's a pleasure, Cristina!"

"I'm in ladies room"

"I think that means your kidney is well functioning, it's a natural phenomenon and very good thing to you!"

"I'm hiding"

Cristina's unexpected sentence scared Meredith, immediately.

"Oh, what did you do?, Spit it out"

"I'm encountering 'him' two minutes ago"

"Him? who?" Meredith said.

"Are you drunk now or are you having amnesiac? Him, him!! Mere, the guy ,my ex, you know, tall, surgeon."

"Burke? Really? What happened after? why are you hiding? You always said you would kick his ass physically, right? I think instead of hiding, you have to kick his ass right now, you forgot! He dumped you and he made this tragic situation which you and I had to live in another state! Get out, and punch him!"

Meredith was actually angry for Cristina's hiding so, she screamed very loudly.

"I really want to but he is with a Mc-hot-sexy-bitch, like Naomi freaking Campbell"

Meredith's angry turned sympathy, she could imagine her person's feeling.

"Oh, you O.K?" Meredith said.

"I don't know. I should be in here at least two days, I don't wanna see him again" Cristina said.

"Did he recognize you, too?" Meredith said.

"Maybe not,as soon as I saw him, I was rushing into here. "

"Cristina, I don't know what to say."

"Well, just get drunk for me, your person, just tequila would be enough. It's all I want you to do for me." Cristina said a little bitterly.

"It is only thing I am good at, don't worry, Cristina."

"I miss you, now." Cristina said.

"Me too. Bye"

"Bye"

When Meredith hanging up the phone, Izzie were asking about what it was, but without saying anything, Meredith was just drinking her tequila for Cristina as she wanted Meredith to do for her.

**_At the parking lot_**

_'__This day is a very __very__ terrible__ day__. I have to get out of __here,__ I need a really cool surgery, like a heart transplant__'_

Muttering to herself, she was heading down the parking lot. Approaching her car and opening the passenger seat door, she was putting down her bag. And as soon as opening the driver seat, she saw. In front of her, the two people, who she really wanted not to watch, were in his car. They looked like a happy couple in a romantic comedy movie. His eye for seeing her was full of love and affection she once had. They seemed to have a great relationship, not like with her. She really didn't know how she should feel about this situation. She was jealous of her, but the same time, she was glad for his happy smile.

_'The girl is suit with you__ really__, perfectly, I'm happy for you' _

Talking to herself, she was realizing her tear was running again twice a day. Definitely her lachrymal gland had serious problems today, if it had not, her brain had serious problem surely. Wiping out them, she was starting up her engine, but she couldn't leave the place easily against her will. A little more, her heart talked to her body she just wanted to see his face even if it was not for her. Seeing his smile, she felt relax and she felt herself peaceful being who she was three years ago with him.

_'Please, be happy, for good. Bye, Burke__'_

Hearing the not his engine's noise, when he raised up his head, he could see her eye filled with tears and emotion, she was crying, there. It seemed the whole world was stopping except her and himself. Her tears was running down her cheek, she was mumbling something, of course he couldn't hear, but the last word she mumbled was "Bye, Burke" As soon as he realized that, he felt something warm in his face, something was running down his face.

"Preston, you. Ok?"

He couldn't say anything to her. Just, he was staring her without words, and she was staring too. She was crying just like him. The moment was painful like a fresh scar by the tenth blade. A few seconds later, her car was leaving the space. In this time, she left him. He was alone with another woman. His tear kept running.

"Anna, it's her"

"Her? What do you mean?"

"Cristina.. She was there" Burke said staring the parking place where she was a few minutes ago.

"Preston, oh,.."

He couldn't remember what Anna said to him about her and couldn't respond to her questions. All he could remember was she was crying just like him. He was trying to erase her in his heart so hard but one encounter screwed up his desperate efforts. This was so cruel, so cruel reality. It was Cristina, he really wanted to see, talk to and touch, even in his dream for last three years. But, he could not walk to her enough close to talk to putting aside touching her. In his dreams, Cristina and Burke was incredibly happy, just like they seemed to live for making each other happy, but, this was his reality. This was his reward to make her feel painful and ruin everything. But this was too painful to endure.

* * *

A/N : nikkitan89, merderdreamy5, nvcgemini, addexluv thanks for your reviews, I hope you enjoy this one!! I promise I update ASAP! 


	4. Chapter 4

Cristina was waiting for Pete. Pete was one of her old friend, they were in same college and med school. They were enough close to make people who see Cristina and Pete misunderstand they were a couple. But there were really just friends. The fact Pete was no interested with any girl made Cristina feel more comfortable in their friendship. In Mass, Pete was the one person who knows her history in Seattle, he was so helpful for her moving on. Pete knew even if she worked so hard, she was very strong willed and she looked like a surgery robot, she had been suffering very hard time for last three years. Not like the other woman, she just had worked to ride out the pain and sadness. Watching her suffering made him more be helpful for her.

Sitting down the seats, Pete knew she looked a little sad. Her makeup and dress were flawless but her eyes were filled with tears which might be about to run down immediately. Recently, she looked more elegant and feminine losing her a few pounds weight, of course she denied the part that she looked more feminine, now her eyes with tear made her more beautiful. Pete was thinking even a gay guy couldn't take his eyes off her, what about the normal guy, all guy in this restaurant was gazing at her. Today, she was stunning.

"You're late," Cristina said

"You look fantastic, despite your tears" Pete said.

"No, there are no such thing, I don't have any."

Her denial was expected, of course.

"Your eyes are stained, mascara..You know" Pete said.

"No, it's a dark circle" Cristina said.

"Oh,, liar! How about your shopping?"

"Not bad.."

"Then, what the hell makes you cry now?"

"Pete, I have never cried!" Cristina's voice got loud.

"Got it. Let me correct. What the hell makes you get a dark circle which looks like mascara stain? Satisfied?" Pete said

"Better. Mmm…I saw him, in department store." Smiling a little bit, she said.

"Him? You mean Dr. Burke?" Pete said.

"Yeah, he was with a girl like Naomi Campbell" Cristina said.

"What did you talk to him?" Pete said.

"Nothing, just I walked way from him" Cristina said.

"You wanna talk about this more?" Pete said.

"Definitely, not. "

Pete could read her face, which is saying 'stop asking'. So, he decided to not question to her about him and said.

"O.k. let's just eat"

"That's exactly why we are friends" Cristina said.

Then, their pager were starting beeping.

"It's 911. We have to go" Cristina said.

"No, I have to go to the hospital, you have to go home." Pete said.

"Dr. Waise, I'm a resident, too!" Cristina said.

"There are two reasons, you should not go to the hospital now. First, if you go to hospital now with your beautiful look, then every nurse hates you more than now because of their jealousy, second, you have to take a rest in bed tonight because of your dark circle as you mentioned a few seconds ago. So, go home and sleep till tomorrow morning your alarm rings. I'm sure it's definitely not a cool surgery, I promise!!" Pete said standing up the chair.

Smiling to Pete, she decided not to go to the hospital. He was right, today, I had to take a rest. A few minutes later, both of them leave the restaurant.

Anna and Burke were sitting the bench in the waiting room, speechless. On their way to the airport, Anna asked to Burke he was still in love with her. Of course, Burke knew the answer she wanted to hear from him but, he couldn't say the answer to her, so he just talked to her "I don't know". After listening to his answers, she didn't speak any word. He didn't have any idea why he couldn't say anything to her. Anna was very nice person and he knew the fact they were good looking couples, however, he could not give Anna anything sure because she was not 'her'. There were nothing sure about Anna and he could not assure about Anna and him, but, he knew very certainly he couldn't help but think about Cristina, her voice and her tear. It was so vivid as if it happened a few seconds ago, suddenly all memory with her in his heart started running all over his head. He should say something to Anna but, there was nothing he could do that moment.

At the time, not far from the place from their bench, a lady screamed, then someone got shot. The police officer in the airport arrested the shooter but a little girl was laying down the hall. Her mother was keeping screaming. That brought to him some terrible memory..

"Please, help us. " Girl's mother was screaming. The mother's terrified voice gave him Cristina's voice he heard in the O.R table. Suddenly he could remember her eyes he saw in the O.R, her eyes were as same as the girl's mother.

Instinctively, he got up and rush over there.

Burke took a look at her. The wound was close to the heart, it was not through and through. That was very dangerous. The bullet was still in her body cavity, she should be in surgery for removing bullet in a short minute otherwise she would be dead because of lots of bleeding.

"Ma'am, I'm a surgeon, maybe I can help you. Call 911, "

He pressured her chest eagerly for stop bleeding but it didn't work. The girl was losing her consciousness even if her mom was trying to keep wake her up but the girl was closing her eyes.

"Please, save my daughter, doctor, please" the mother was pleading for him, desperately. If the ambulance was not here in a minute, the girl was not gonna make it. Burke was very nervous. Then, he heard the ambulance siren. Carrying the girl into a gurney, a paramedic was asked to Burke who he was. When he was about to answer them, the girl's mother said.

"He is a surgeon, right? Please go with us, save my girl."

Then, he could see her pain and terror in her eyes, so he said..

"Yes, ma'am I'm gonna be with you"

Over the crowd, Anna was standing alone. Burke talked to her that he had to go and promised her to call as fast as he could. Getting on the ambulance, he said to the paramedic he had to do surgery for getting rid of the bullet in a minute and they had to go to the nearest hospital from here. Hearing Burke, the center ordered them to go to the Harvard Clinic

Pete rushed into the E.R. When he arrived at the hospital, a nurse notified him that a gun shot patient was coming on and the bullet was in her body cavity. Pete talked to her to prepare emergency surgery and waited for them at the entrance. The ambulance was arriving at a few minutes later.

"The patient's name is Amy Brooks, 12years old. "

A tall man was cutting a paramedic and started saying

"Her b.p is going down and bullet is in very close to the heart. She lost lots of blood"

When Pete raised his head, he recognized this guy. Actually, he knew who he is very accurately. Pete's face didn't go unnoticed by Burke and Burke talked to him. There were so many things he could talk to him, but, there was a bleeding girl in the gurney. He should save the girl's live first, and kicking him would be the next thing he could go.

"Dr. you have a problem?" The tall surgeon said.

"No, sir, right now, there is no problem." Pete said.

"You better be. Hurry, people. No time." they all headed to O.R

When, Cristina arrived at the hospital, some nurses were gossiping about something. They were talking in a low voice without noticing Cristina approached to them. Cristina heard they were talking about a tall and handsome male doctor and visitor doctor. That did not surprise Cristina at all, that was exactly what they were doing in every single day in the hospital. But just this time, the number of nurses who were involved with the conversation was a little more than any other day. Just that was different. Cristina was a little relaxing in the hospital and going to the comfortable place, on call room.

'I love hospital. Shopping sucks.' Muttering to herself, she laid in the lower bulk.

The girl's surgery was very successful and all scrub nurses and doctors in the O.R were looking at Burke with respectful eyes, except one, a resident, Dr. Waise,. When Burke was washing his hands, then, Dr. Waise was in his side. And he was staring him down with a non-respectful-eye with no word. Feeling his uncomfortable, Burke was looking at him, too. During a few moments, they were just looking at each other. They just totally ignored the other doctor's and nurses' eye as if they were dueling with each other just like western gunfighters, with no gun. It was Burke who broke the weird silence. In Burke's eye, the guy, Dr. Waise, he seemed to be very kind, courageous and very competitive surgeon. So he started speaking.

"Dr. Waise, nice to meet you, I'm Preston Burke, a cardiothoracic surgeon." He stretched out his hands to him.

"Of course you are. I know you. I'm Dr. Waise, a resident in cardiothoracic." he shook Burke's hands.

"Dr. Waise, I think you probably have something to tell me, right?" Burke said curiously.

"Yeah, you're the guy who left a girl friend, oh, let me correct, you're the guy who left your fiancée with a wedding dress, in the church, on your wedding day, right?" Pete's said sarcasrically.

He was confused a little. How this guy knew about him and Cristina, who the hell this guy was? Burke wanted to ask Dr. Waise about that guessing he might be involved with Cristina and wanted to everything about her. When he was about to say something, in the moment, a nurse was coming to him and started saying something.

"Excuse me, Dr. Burke, The chief of surgery, Dr. Dones wants to meet you. He is waiting for you in his office. "

"Yes, thank you."

"Let me show the way."

Burke was looking at him for a few seconds, then he left the room.

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A/N I'll update as soon as i can. I know this chapter a litlle bit long, next chap ter is gonna be short, I promise!! I hope you guys enjoy my fic!!


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter 5. Like a dream_**

**At the on-call room**

Pete knew Cristina was in the hospital and could exactly say where she would be. Taking off the scrubs, he was heading for the place where she was exactly. Knocking on the on call room door, he could hear Cristina's voice saying come in. As his guess, she was laying on the lower bunk with her hands under the head. Getting up, she was asking to him about the surgery. Pete sat down her next in the bed.

"I have good news and bad news." Pete said.

"I don't care the good news, you know me."

"Your 'ex' is in the chief's office now"

She was a little surprised with that. But she couldn't figure it out what to say but she didn't want to show her nervous look Pete, trying to be normal Cristina, she spoke to him.

"Is that a good one or bad one?"

"Bad one"

"Then what is the good one?"

"He saved a little girl's life, a few minutes ago."

Both said nothing.

"Are you still in love with him, aren't you?" Pete said.

"No, I have never been in love, Pete!!"

Again, denial… Pete smiled.

"Cristina, I know you. I have been your friends for last few years, you have something in him. I can see that"

"Pete, of course, I have something. He dumped me in the wedding day. Literally, he left me, walked way. You know? When a girl was dumped a man wearing freaking wedding dress in the church, of course she should have something involved with a guy who dumped her. Don't you think that? If I was not educated enough patient to endure my anger, I might kill him. I have the right to be angry and yell at him." Cristina's voice was getting loud.

"You have to talk to him. You have to talk to him what you just talked to me. Ignoring is not a good answer. "

"I wanna be alone, Pete."

"Cristina.. "

Cristina pull over the sheet over her face and turned around toward the wall.

Pete could feel her emotion. He really tried to find out some word to appease her anger and pain, but he could not find the proper one. Just looking at her back a little, he came out of the plalce.

Cristina heard Pete get out. Suddenly, she felt a little shiver, just like three years ago, she felt powerless, useless like a new born baby. She tried to not cry in front of Pete and she burst into her tears. All decision and efforts she had made for last years was in vain. She decided not to cry in three years ago, but, her tears were against her will, it just burst.

After finishing the meeting with the chief, Burke came out of the office. The chief of surgery looked like a very nice person. He talked to Burke nothing about Cristina but Burke could feel the old guy knew something about him and Cristina. Burke was coming down the stairs, he could see Dr. Waise approaching to him. He really wanted to talk to this tall and good looking guy. Thankfully, he was coming to Burke voluntarily. A few seconds later, Dr. Waise stood up in front of Burke and started his saying.

"I hate you." That was the first thing, out of Dr. Waise's mouth.

"Sorry?" Burke asked.

"I'm pretty sure you hear me." Pete said.

Burke saw Pete's anger. His eye was full of anger.

"What is your point?" Burke asked.

"I know you are really a good surgeon, top surgeon, honestly speaking, I wished to become a good surgeon just like you. But in this moment, right now, you are not a good surgeon to me, you are just a jerk who made a girl crying alone in the dark on call room" Pete said, angrily.

"I don't this is not your business, Dr," Burke said with his authority.

"No, definitely, it is my business after your leaving, taking care of her, it was one of my job Cristina last three years. And since today, after you leave here, I am the one who take care of her at least for one month. So I am sure this is my damn business" Pete was almost yelling.

Burke was upset. This guy was being Cristina's boy friend, definitely. But he could not say anything to him. So he stood up looking at the guy.

"She is the on call room, with red sticker. " As soon as finishing his line, he walked away.

He could feel his excitement in his heart. In a few seconds, he could meet her. He could touch her and talk to her. It was not a dream. Today, he was called a jerk at the first in his whole life, but he didn't care. The only thing he could think in that moment was, only, Cristina. A few steps, those would be enough to be near her. A few meters, it felt like painfully long distance. In front of the door, he tried to take a deep breath. And he grabbed the doorknob and after on last moment of hesitation, he turned it.

Cristina heard someone in without a knock. So, she said without turning her head toward it.

"Pete. I'm not in the mood. Leave me alone."

"I'm sorry I'm not Pete."

As soon as Cristina heard the voice, she thought she had a illusion. This could not be happening. Not only she could not figure out what to say, but also could not know whether she should turn to him or not. She froze. She could not make a finger move slightly.

Burke sat on the bed she was laying own. He could not believe she was being beside him. He could touch her if he could move his hand a little. Her profile in silhouette was very familiar to him. Once she woke up in exactly same position like this every morning. In his bed, beside him , in his chest and looking at him not the wall, that was different. He wished he could move his hand toward him. With all his strength, he tried to move his hand, it didn't work. Again, he prayed to God he could do. When he raised his hands and stroke down her cheek, he could feel her tension. He thought he could realize the feeling people might get when electrocuted by lightning.

He stroked her cheek again, slowly, in this time, he could feel her soft and silky skin, it was same as he remembered. Suddenly, sadness and happiness shot out inside him like. That eased himself telling him now he was not alone anymore but at the same time, that terrified him telling him he was gonna love her again. In this moment, he was not anymore world renowned surgeon, nor a kind and decent gentleman. He was just waiting for her, impatiently. Then, she started talking.

" You're not supposed to be here. "Cristina was up and talked.

"Yeah, I just want to talk to you. " Burke said.

Cristina fixed her eye on his face very quietly. She should use some words. She felt as is she was a mute. She was very shame of herself. She was a victim and he was a criminal. He was a really criminal to her. She had to treat him with hat he deserved for his crime. She had to punish him very very bitterly. She had to but she could do that. She could do that to him. Because, he was Burke. So, she could do that. Honestly speaking, she was glad he was with her, not a Naomi Campbell. Her heart kept telling her body to move toward him and kiss him against her reason, Her heart starte racing. She could not barely breath. Then, she could feel her hands in her cheek. He was so warm and affectionate. His mouth didn't say anything but his hands did say something to her, suddenly, as soon as she felt his breath, she was relieved. Peace, she could feel peace at the first time in three years.

"You look to lose weight a lot." Burke talked to Cristina, stroking her hair.

"You look to be same." Cristina said.

"And you look pale a little. " Burke talked to Cristina, touching her cheek.

"I'm busy a little" Cristina said, fixing her eye on his eyes.

"How have you been?" Burke said, looking at her eyes.

"How about you?" Cristina said.

"I asked you. If you answer, then I'll give mine." Burke said.

"Hey, I'm not your intern anymore. I'm not your fi-, girl friend anymore. You don't get to order to me. " Cristina said sarcastically.

Even if she was almost yelling at him, he was happy that he would be with her. Her voice, even if it was not lovely and nice, her voice made him feel alive.

"I was just waiting for everything to be quiet and peaceful again. .. I was just waiting, like we have to wait the ambulance to come in the E.R door. " Burke said, quietly.

Burke's answer made Cristina's heart ache because she exactly knew the feeling how he felt. She was same as him. Everything around her was drifting about with wind. Time, she just had to count up to ten for making her relieve, every night, every hour being alone. It was a painful experience. The idea he was as painful as her made her sad. The idea he was as tough as her made her weep.

Burke saw her. She kept tears from her eyes and it made her moan a little. Her closed eyes and her hands held the sheet tightly hurt his heart.

Pains, appeared not to be gone, suddenly disappeared as soon as he felt her hands without leaving any trace. He slowly took her hands, which was still holding the sheet tightly.

"I'm sorry, Cristina. I'm sorry. I made you sad, I made you painful. All my bad. I'm sorry. If I had came back to three years ago, I would have done this things. I just thought you were not happy with me. I thought you wanted to be free, without me. It was my mistake. Please forgive. I'm sorry"

Burke said, sadly, quietly, looking at the floor, .

Cristina couldn't keep her tears in her eyes. Her face was warmed by that. She didn't make any sound. She hoped her tears to stop, but it kept. Then, she felt his big hand wiped out her tears.

Looking at his face, she saw his crying, his dark eyes were twinkling with his tears. She slowly, moved his hands on his face. Her fingers stoked his cheek and wiped out his tears, just like he did to her. Her hands moving own slowly, she could feel his face in three years, this warm feeling made her sob, her thumb touched his lips, he help her hand tightly and pull her toward him, passionately.

"We could not go back to when we were together, you know, Burke, there is no stupid time machine. We can't go back. It is now past. You made it, you really did a good job." Cristina's sarcasm, it was really not funny this time.

"I know, I, know.. "

Both were crying.

Cristina collapsed in his chest. The place where she should be, it was really comfortable as if it was designed for only her. She clasped him as tightly as she could just like she didn't want get away from him. It was so comfortable.

"Still, fit!!"Burke said hugging her tightly just like Cristina did.

Cristina's small body was really fitted with his. She seemed to be like something he had possessed since his born, in his whole life. Her shampoo smell, her perfume and her breath, these away his old pain and old bad from his heart. She made her innocent. She didn't say anything but he seemed to hear she was just saying I've never hated you and don't make you miserable. Feeling her on his chest, now he could feel relieved and alive. Now he could breath like once, Burke did, with a dignity and authority. Everything he lost three years ago, those were coming back to him with Cristina. He thought he could hug her and sit down a small bed all night, not moving a little. Alone and miserable nights in last three years would never ever come back.

He closed his eyes, and tried to hear her everything. Because His Cristina was with him, now he would be the Normal Burke. He kissed her forehead a little. A peaceful moment, this was not a dream. A comfortable feeling, both could not dare dream, was their reality. Burke said to himself inside, he never separate from his Cristina. Even if he would die, even if she would die, they would never separate. Hugging her more tightly, he sobbed a little for happiness, not pain.

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A/N I'm sorry, guys. I really wann made a short chapter, but i couldn't.

I hope you enjoy tihs one, too.

nikkitan89, jump219, Yang1227, nvcgemini, nellie408, Sw33tangelgrl, addexluv, thanks review!! keep let me know what you feel..

I really promise, next chapter is gonna be a short one.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

_**Break up, again**_

Together, they said nothing, hugging tightly, feeling each other's breath. A few minutes of peace passed, and Burke's phone rang.

The phone ringing brought back Cristina from a sweet dream to a bitter reality.

Loosening her hands around his waist, she took around him slowly, he checked out the number on his phone and put back it in his jacket pocket. She thought he looked a little worried

His face made her reason up from being a nice and sweet, love-crazy girl.

"Answer the phone." Cristina said, coming out of the bulk.

"I don't have to" Burke said, looking at her moving.

"Answer the damn phone." Cristina said loudly, walking to the mirror and seeing herself in.

"It's my phone. I decide to answer or not." Burke said.

"Are you cheating on her with me?" Cristina's voice became loud.

"What? How could you say that to me?" Burke asked.

"Then, why you can't answer the phone?"Cristina shouted.

"I just wanted not to. Why are you yelling at me?" Burke asked.

"Not answering the phone call, ignoring the phone, that mean you are cheating on."

Cristina said sarcastically.

"Cristina.." Burke didn't know what to say.

"Burke, I'm not an evil mistress. That isn't not on my list. I'm not Meredith. I'm not gonna be the one slept with a man who has a wife or a girl friend nor a one night stand.." Cristina was almost yelling.

"I have never cheated on anyone." Burke said.

" Then, if you are not hiding anything, why you are not answering the freaking phone?" Cristina asked.

Burke could not say anything. It was Anna's call. Cristina was right. Burke didn't know what to say Anna. So, he couldn't answer the phone. This was his reality. Between a girl who loved him very much and a girl he had loved very much, he couldn't figure out what he had to do.

Then, text message was mailed.

'Preston, I'm at the airport. Our flight is delayed and it is not taking off at least in a few hours. Call me ASAP"

Standing by his side, she pretended to not look at it but she looked at his phone and saw all her message. After a few peaceful moment, a damn cell phone ruined her peace and it was gonna rob him back of her, correctly speaking, it was not robbing, it was just coming back. She felt a little chilly in the moment. She had to find out the appropriate line, immediately. The longer she was with him, the sadder she would feel after his leaving. So, she was grabbing her bag and wearing up her coat, and prepared for going home, she didn't wanna leave but she didn't have any choice, she just had to. Everything was prepared. She was coming to the doorknob and looking around him. He was sitting on the bulk, motionless, covering his face with his big hands. Then, she reluctantly, and pretended to not be, started saying.

"I have to go. I have an appointment. I was glad for meeting you. I'm happy now and I hope you will be. And, being sorry is not required. You are free, just like you were gonna make me. "

He tried to grab her, but, Cristina left the door, Cristina was leaving. Burke could not believe this situation. Maybe, he thought God was mad at him of what he did to her and God was punishing him. Definitely, this was punishing. He knew he deserved it but, he couldn't bear anymore. God had to stop making fun of him. This was so cruel. Burke couldn't move his leg even one inch.

She just walked way from the door, she walked at a highest speed she could, just like a thief seeing a police officer. She didn't even look back. She almost run. Going down the stairs, she would realize she didn't have a destination, she didn't know where she had to go. When she looked around the stairs, trying to figure out which floor she was, she could Pete come down to her. He appeared to go home. Pete grabbed her arms and looked at her face. She looked so tired and sad.

"What's the matter?" Pete said.

"You told him where I was, right" Cristina said, a little anger.

"I just thought talking made you feel easy. I thought you wanted to." Pete said.

"Then, you were so wrong. It was not helping me." Cristina said.

"I'm sorry."

Pete just looked at her empty and fragile eye. She didn't say anymore. She just looked at the floor, motionless. Pete could feel what she felt the moment. Today was a very harsh day, to her.

Cristina almost collapsed if Pete grabbed her arms. Her leg was trembling badly. She felt she was floating in the air.

"Cristina, let's get out of here. You need to feed yourself immediately, you looked very pale." Pete said.

"I feel a little dizzy. Don't let me fall down the floor like an epileptic. If you're gonna do, I might kill you, Pete. You are a criminal, today. You know?" Cristina said, trying to smile to him.

When Burke was waiting for the cab in front of the entrance, he saw Cristina and Pete coming out of the hospital. Pete put his hands around her waist and she grabbed her arms very tightly. Burke saw they were talking to each other and smiling a little. They seemed to go to the parking lot. Burke thought they looked like a very happy couple and very comfortable. She was smiling to him, softly and sweet. Coming to a car, Pete opened the door for her and he came in. Then, they left.

After their leaving, Burke was standing there for a minute. His cab already was waiting for him. He was just standing there to try to remember everything about her which he could see today, here. He said to himself he was glad for her happy over and over. But, deep down, he didn't like her to be with the guy, named Dr. Waise, even if he was a nice and good looking. Thinking about that he would touch her, kiss her and make a love with her made him feel nauseous in his stomach. But, even if those feeling were his jealousy, there was nothing he could do except looking at the direction where she would be a minutes a go.

_'I__ should be happy for her happiness. __I__ really need booze tonight, and my vacation really, really sucks__'_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter7. Could I go back to there?**_

_**Burke**_

In this morning, he got a phone call from Dr. Webber in very long time. Webber told him that Derek rejected the chief because he wanted to spend more time with his family. Of course, Burke had known that Derek really hated all paper work and politics in the hospital. When Derek called up Burke, he used to complain about that, repeatedly. It went worse since Derek got married to Meredith about 4 years ago and they became the parents of a 10month-old girl, named Amelia. Dr. Webber wanted Burke to be a new chief for SGH and he really wanted to have a world renowned cardio surgeon once again. The polite and truly kind request, honestly speaking it was not request, it almost was an order, the request made him consider very carefully. Because, in this hospital, even it was not SGH, he had been a chief for last three years and he had been respected a great surgeon. Every doctors respected his ability and kindness. It was a very undoubtful result for making his sacrifice of personal life. Three years ago, after he encountered Cristina in Mass, he broke up with Anna. Before meeting Cristina, he had thought he could have a happy family with Anna, he could be a father and he could have a normal life with her. But it was his mistake. After meeting Cristina, he realized that Anna was a just normal woman to him, she never would be Cristina, above all, he couldn't stop thinking of Cristina after that. Realizing the truth, he could not go out with a girl. He had talked to himself that he was not waiting for Cristina, just he was waiting for the day he would not think of her anymore. However, the day without thinking of Cristina would not come. Probably, he would know that. So, loneliness, being alone was not a big deal to him. It was a routine to him. Seattle was a pain to him at the same time, it was a joy to him. Although she was not there, he could remember more vividly her in SGH. That made him go to Seattle. He decided to go to Seattle in six years.

_**Cristina..**_

Cristina's last research caught attentions every cardiothoracic surgeon all over the world, of course in the States. All medical journals had been asking to her an interview and she had received a lot of article so she had to turn it down politely saying she had no enough time because of her work in the hospital. In last years, she was being more famous doctor and every hospital very eagerly tried to join her in their fellowship but, she couldn't decide yet. She wanted to remain in Harvard but she wanted to go to Seattle. In last phone call, Meredith said to her she decided to remain in SGH. It was an incredibly difficult decision to make to her. Being a respectful doctor was nice experience to her, but to be a that kind of a famous surgeon, she sacrificed all the other things, she was lonely everyday, she couldn't take a rest in holiday, she couldn't even remember when her last date was. She had missed all things she left behind in Seattle. She missed Meredith everyday, missed Izzie's muffins, missed George's bambi-like-eyes and she missed even Alex, an evil-spawn. Meredith talked to her including herself, all friends decided to remain in SGH. Meredith did not say anything about Cristina's decision except for saying she missed Cristina. So, Cristina decided. She didn't want to be alone anymore. Just brining back Cristina in six years ago, she wanted be happy again with her person. Of course, there would not be Burke, but, she would be with her person. Also she had to be a godmother for Meredith's girl like Meredith's saying. That would be enough. At least, she would be with her person enough close to call up and come by whenever she wanted to get drunk, whenever she couldn't sleep alone, whenever she couldn't help but cry because of not being with him. That would be enough for her.

_**In Seattle**_

Three people, once were interns but now residents were sitting down the bed in basement. Izzie was studying, Alex was shoving his salad in his mouth and George was laying on the bed.

Izzie said.

" I can't believe Burke is going to be a chief. How could he do that?"

"He is a very famous and very competitive. He will bring some money to hospital." George said.

"He is an ass" Izzie said, eating some chips.

"But, I like him, we jogged this morning" George said, pleasantly.

"Dude, are you having a relationship with him? Be careful. He might run away on your wedding day, leaving you alone." Alex said.

"He made Cristina miserable. Don't you remember how sad and painful she was in six years ago? She couldn't eat anything almost one week. She just cried all day and night. Meredith and I had to drag her at Joe's like a log. How could he come back here? Doesn't he have any guilty or shame, how could he do? Six years later, I couldn't understand him or forgive him."

"He didn't dump you, Izzie. You don't have to forgive him." Alex said, sarcastically.

"Cristina is my friend, my family." Izzie said.

"Your family, Cristina disappeared without saying good bye. How could you remember only Burke dumped her and not remember she disappeared without goodbye?" George said.

"You're right. Cristina is an ass, too" Izzie said.

"No, Cristina is a women so she can not be an ass. She is a bitch!!" Alex said.

Then, they all heard someone running there. It was Meredith, definitely. Because no one did like to come over, a dark, old and gloomy place, their friends were only visitors.

"Hey, she is coming." Meredith said, trying to breath.

"She? Who?" Izzie said.

"Cristina" Meredith said.

"When?" Alex said.

"Now, she called at the airport. She is coming, here" Meredith was so glad.

"Wow, she is aware tha Burke is a chief now?"George said.

"No, I don't mention that. " Meredith said.

"Probably, Cristina would kill you and make it look like an accident" Alex said.

"Isn't she gonna back to Mass after recognizing he is a chief, today, is she?" Meredith said, hesitatingly.

"She is Cristina, nobody knows what she is gonna do." George said.

"They are back here? This hospital is going to gossip again." Alex said.

"Poor Cristina." Izzie said.

"Poor Burke" George said.

After getting in a cab, she talked to the driver to go to the Seattle Grace Hospital. The city had not changed so mush since her leave. On her way to the hospital, she felt very comfortable and relaxed, at first time in last a few years. The familiar damp air, the familiar damp wind and the familiar smell. These all thing brought back her memory in this city, spontaneously. She was smiling. Then, the cab driver started talking

"Are you a stranger here, aren't you?" Driver asked.

"What make you say that?" Cristina asked

"If you're not a stranger, I definitely cannot have remembered such a beautiful girl like you. The driver said turning around her.

"I know. " Cristina laughed at him .

"Why are you going to the hospital as soon as you arrive at this city?" Driver asked.

"There are some person I have to meet immediately." Cristina said.

"Whoever it is, the person might be glad to see you, today." The driver said

"What do you mean?" Cristina said, curiously.

"Look at yourself. You are smiling as soon as getting in. You seem to be gonna meet your love of life or soul mate very soon. Your smile makes you look more beautiful. Even I can't take my eyes off you today." Driver said, looking back her.

At the moment, she felt she was floating the air. Then, she fell on the ground. Then she couldn't remember what happened her. Barely, she heard some people talking and ambulance coming. She felt a person's touch vaguely.

'Ma'am, can you hear me? Open your eyes, oh, god "

_**'**__**I have to wake up, I have to**__**…**__** Meredith is looking forward to seeing me. I have to wake up..**__**'**_

But against her will, she couldn't make her eyes open.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter8. a very bad day.**_

At the E.R entrance

Izzie was waiting for eating an apple. Then Alex was coming to her.

"You paged, me?" Alex said.

"There were car accidents on high way, I heard" Izzie said.

"Accidents happen every day," Alex said, stretching out his arms.

"Lots of patients are coming on. At least, they said six. Including some burning patients" Izzie said a little excited, looking at Alex and smiled to him

Then, Izzie saw Meredith coming to her.

"I got paged. Oh, surgery, Cristina would got mad she missed the surgery.. "Meredith said happily.

"So true, if Cristina coming on before patients, she definitely would be scrubbing in first instead of saying hello to us." Izzie said.

"Yeah, not if she isn't in hang over" Alex said.

"When you will tell her about Dr. Burke, the chief, Meredith?" Izzie said.

"It depends on her mood. I think" Meredith said, hesitantly.

"Well, I bet you would be dead as soon as you tell Cristina" Alex said.

"People, you are supposed to be my friend, and Cristina's. Help me. Helping is your duty, it's not optional." Meredith shouted.

"Well, I'm not the one hiding the truth, Meredith" Izzie said.

"Let's choose the person to tell the truth to Cristina, scissors, rocks and papers." Meredith said, looking at her friends.

Then, the ambulance arrived.

Alex, Izzie and Meredith were rushing into the patient.

Paramedic said something, the around were really noisy.

Then, Alex said to Meredith and Izzie.

"Hey, Scissors, rocks and papers isn't needed. She could not be scrubbing, she couldn't."

"Alex, what are you talking about?" Meredith said, checking out the patient.

"This is Cristina." Alex said, confusingly.

At the chief's office.

Burke and Derek were having coffee together. Since Burke coming two months ago, they were getting close more. They were having conversation when both were free, once in a blue moon, they we here having lunch together, sometimes. They were talking about not only everything involved with the hospital, but also everything personal they had never shared six years ago.

Today, Derek had to talk to Burke about Cristina. Dr. Webber ordered Derek to tell Burke about Cristina's coming long time ago, but Derek couldn't figure out the right time to tell him. So he got around to tell him, every morning Derek made a promise to Meredith to tell him but every night he had to beg to forgive about not doing that. A few minutes ago, Derek had a page from Meredith that Cristina was coming on today. So, Derek had no choice. He had to tell him the truth.

"Preston, I have something to tell you" Derek said.

"Dr. Sheppard, I prefer you call me Dr. Burke." Burke said curiously.

"Oh, I know you do." Derek said.

"Derek, spit it out. I have power in this hospital. So, whatever it is, I'm sure I can handle. Everything is under my control" Burke said very confidently.

"I'm glad that." Derek hesitated.

"What's the matter with you, just tell me. I'm dying, Derek" Burke said.

"Well, Preston, it's about.."

The moment, their pager started beeping. Derek felt a little relaxed. Telling Burke about the truth, about Cristina's coming today was more complicated than any other serious brain surgeries. Derek thought this emergency call saved his life, and he promised he would do some favor nurses who paged him right now. This page was the most thankful page he had ever got since becoming a surgeon.

"Derek, you missed a very good chance to tell me, whatever it is. After this emergency situation, you'd regret you slip out the the chance. I bet you do" Getting up the chair, Burke said.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for that" Derek said.

And both were rushing to the O.R

As soon as Burke got in the O.R1, he saw familiar faces in front of the entrance of O.R2.

Except for George, Izzie, Meredith and even Alex were not friendly to Burke when he came back. He exactly knew the reason they were. So, he had not conversation with them, personally. When he had talked to George a few weeks ago, some words about Cristina slipped out of George's mouth. George asked him if he wanted to hear something about Cristina and if Burke wanted, he would tell anything he wanted to hear. But, he really wanted to hear something new about Cristina, he told George not to tell. So all he knew about how Cristina was originated from the medical journal he read.

Then, now, some brilliant residents, once were interns with Cristina, were standing there looking inside the O,R, except Meredith, she was sitting down the bench, covering her face with her hands. Izzie were standing by her, putting her hands on Meredith's shoulder. Meredith and Izzie seemed to be crying. Alex and George were talking to each other, but Burke couldn't hear. Burke moved toward them, but, at the same time a nurses called his name. A patient was on the table waiting for him. So, he walked in the O,R.

Derek was rushing into her wife and her friends. Meredith was crying, covering her face with her hands. Izzie was too. Meredith was not teary person. So, as soon as he saw her wife's tear, he suddenly felt that something bad was happening in this hospital and the feeling made him shiver a little. He walked to Meredith. When he kneeled down and held her hands with his, she was sobbing and said something but Derek couldn't understand her saying because her voice were trembling so much.

"Meredith, what's wrong? "Derek asked quietly. In facts, he really didn't want to hear something. Instinctively, he could know this was a really bad situation.

"It's Cristina." Izzie said, sighing out.

"What?" Derek said.

"There were fatal car accidents in highway. She was coming here. A drunken driver ran into her cab. The cab driver died at the scene and she was crushed and had serious head injuries. She needs a neuro and cardio surgery. Dr. Sheppard, you're the first." George said.

Derek saw all eight eyes looking at him, desperately. They actually said nothing, but their eyes told him save their friend and make her normal. It was second time he had feared. Six years ago, Burke made him feel that, this time, it was Cristina. Derek said the couple were definitely bad ass.

Derek could feel Meredith's feeling. Meredith had not seen Cristina last six years, they just met on the phone. Both women were really busy at work so they couldn't make some time off or vacation. So, Meredith was incredibly happy for hearing Cristina would come back. Meredith had planned on some trip with Cristina in this Cristmas season, to Paris. But, this was not the thing Meredith wanted.

Meredith kept trying to tell Derek but she couldn't make any sound out of her mouth. All she could make was sobbing. Derek was holing her hands tightly, without saying.

A nurses started saying.

"Dr. Sheppard, all set.."

"Meredith, I have to go. She will make it." Derek kissed her forehead and left.

Meredith's sobbing got loud. So Izzie did. Alex and George were speechless. There was nothing they could do. So, they were just standing.

At Cristina's OR.

Derek had almost finished. Her head injury was not serious as it looked like. But, her abdominal needed to have more difficulty surgery. Stepping out of the table, Derek told a scrub nurse to page chief. And as soon as nurses grabbing the phone, the door open and Burke came in.

"Dr. Sheppard, I just saved a man's live. I hope you did. How are you doing here?" Burke said, with a common tone.

"Dr, Burke, she needs you right now, I think" Derek said taking off his mask and looking at him.

"My pleasure, Dr. Sheppard. What a beautiful morning saving lives!!" Dr. Burke walked to the table.

Derek just looked at him, trying to tell him the truth.

"Dr. Sheppard, our competitive residents are outside the door, you know that?" Burke asked.

"Yeah, I know " Derek said, slowly.

Burke found out that his voice was not normal. There was something bad, here. Burke saw Derek, waiting for his answering about what happened here. Derek seemed to try to find out some words. Derek was looking at him. But he couldn't' wait until he used some words, forever. So, he approached the patient and looked down the table.

"It's Cristina" Derek said. When he looked at the patient on the table, Burke couldn't believe that.

It couldn't be happening. There was her, laying down the table, bleeding. Burke couldn't breath.

Then, her monitor started beeping.

"Her pulse is dropping" A nurse shouted.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter9. Please **__**don't'**__** leave me.**_

Burke couldn't move his hands, he was just standing, looking down the table. Cristina was laying down, closing her eyes, bleeding and and maybe dying. He had seen a lot of patient in this O.R table, some of them could be saved, some of them, could be not. Until today, until he saw Cristina in the table, there was no one who made Burke allow to think about anything not involved with the surgery he would do, he had never thought himself hesitating in front of the patient, especially in the O.R, he always had tried to know and have control about all surgery. That was everything in his life, after the shot, after his leaving, only surgery and passion for saving lives could made him alive and wake up in the morning everyday. But this situation had never been considered, even not in his dream. Burke was incapable of doing anything, except for looking down her.

Derek say Burke, he seemed to be out of mind. Derek thought he had to do something, not for Cristina, for Burke. Cristina's b.p was dropping down. If Burke wouldn't do anything to her, she would not make it. Then Burke could not forgive himself about not doing anything for saving her lives. Derek thought Burke had to get through this and first, in this time, he should do something medical for saving her live.

"Burke, we have to save her live. She is on the table and she is dying. She needs some medical thing. We have to do something to her" Derek shouted, grabbing his arms tightly.

"I don''t know what to do, Derek. I can't, I don't know.." He was just standing and looking at Derek's eye.

"Preston, I'm sure that if you are just standing here, looking at the table, not doing anything to her, you can't forgive yourself after she dies. She is our patient. We are her doctors." Derek said, calmly and quietly.

Burke saw Derek's face. He was right. He had to do something to her. That was his duty, not as a doctor, as a person who shared soul and heart once. Then, her monitor started beeping again.

"Should I page another cardio surgeon?" A scrub nurse asked to Derek.

Derek looked at Burke's face. And answered the nurse "I think we are fine."

Burke came back to a surgeon. He looked down the table again. Her status was really bad.

Burke feared he wouldn't make her live. Burke told himself.

_'__Don__'__t be weak. I can do. I can do__…__'_

He tried to not look at her face and focus on his moving and surgery. He stepped on to her a little more and checked out her. Then he asked a nurse

"10th blade"

He could feel the blade in his hand. He had never thought this scalpel was heavy like this. He prayed this little and cold metal for him making her live, desperately. And he told the scalpel if the scalpel he was holding would not help him save her, he never would touch that. He did his best to try to take a deep breath, stay cool and not to fall his tears down.

Derek stayed in the O.R with a few nurses behind Burke. He was quiet and very careful but Derek could see Burke's scrub top was getting wet with his sweat and his neck was all of a sweat. Derek couldn't imagine how he felt like this moment. A few minutes ago, Cristina's monitor beeped all of sudden, and scrub nurses and Burke had to resuscitate her in a hurry. This resuscitation was second thing after her surgery had started. All people in this O.R were very nervous because her status was really bad and she seemed to not make it. So they had to concentrate on her if something had happen, they really quickly would take actions for saving her life. Every person was looking at Burke and the patient who made the best doctor in this hospital nervous and sweat.

After a few minutes of quiet moments, her monitor started beeping. Derek thought this beep was the loudest beep he had heard since becoming a doctor. It seemed to tell something bad was gonna happen in any minute. Burke was also embarrassed with this sound. He didn't finish the stitch and it took maybe an half hour to finish up his job, so he had to stop for a short moment for resuscitating her.

Burke had to use the paddle for making her heart start. 200joules, 300joules, last 360joules.

Her heart didn't respond. She was dying, slowly. Burke didn't let her go. He was afraid of losing her. She should not die like this and she should have life she always wanted to have. She should deserve better than this. This should not be the last meeting for two.

Putting down the paddle, Burke started doing a heart massage to her, desperately. He didn't have no idea how long he did the massage, when he looked at the monitor, a nurse told him.

"No change"

Every one around the table didn't do anything except for himself.

Burke scared. There was nothing to do except doing the massage. He kept.

"No, you have to make it. You can't go like this. No. Try. Breath, Cristina"

He didn't realize he said something. He wiped his eyes. But something kept him from seeing clearly, however, he didn't have time for doing that again, he had to do something for saving her live. Then, he heard Derek calling his name.

"Preston, still no change. I think you have to decide" Derek said hesitatingly.

"Decide what? No, she's gonna wake. " Burke didn't listen to him.

"Preston, her heart was not beating for at least ten minutes." Derek said.

Derek knew he was very harsh to Burke, but he couldn't see Preston doing anymore, her desperate face and acts. Medically, there was no chance she'll make it. She was dead. Derek had to say that for Burke.

"No, No, she is gonna wake up" Burke said and kept doing, pretending to not listen to Derek.

Derek came to Preston and grabbed his arms, looking at him. When Derek saw Burke's eye, he had to step away from him. Burke's eye seemed to tell him to get away. Derek thought about what he's gonna do, in Burke's shoes. Then, Derek let him do and stare at him.

"Wake up, Cristina. Don't do this to me. If you are not wake up, I will never forgive you." Burke said, keeping the massage, without taking eyes off her.

"I have something to tell you. There are so many things to tell you, you know? Wake up. You have to listen to me and hate me. Wake up for me. Open your eyes."

Burke was nearly crying. Staring him made all people sad. His voice was trembling. The surgeon, the most competitive, the most heartless, was shouting and crying in front of them, in O.R. No one dared to get him off from the patient. They were just looking at each other.

Then, another beep started. Her monitor showed some rhythms.

"Her b.p is going up" A nurse told Burke.

Derek saw Burke's face all of a sweat. He seemed to be a little relieved now. After looking at the monitor, he started his job on her again. All people in the O.R were incredibly quiet.

About one hour later, Meredith could see some people coming out of Cristina's O.R. It was Derek.

Meredith ran to him and started asking.

"How is she? Why did it take so long?" Meredith asked.

"There was some problems. Mmmm, her surgery was well done but we can't assure she is gonna wake in any time. Medically, there is nothing we can do more. Soon, she is going to move in the ICU. " Derek said.

Her friends were all speechless. Meredith couldn't believe this situation. Meredith might lose her, she just met Cristina in six years and barely talked to her about herself and Cristina. There were so many things she would talk to her about everything, every crappy her life, every detail, which they couldn't share in six years. This shouldn't the last. But she couldn't think anything which would help Cristina. So she sank into a chair, and felt some tears running down her face.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10. I don**__**'**__**t wanna be alone anymore.**_

There were some noises around her, some people talking, some people laughing. She thought she

was in a hospital cafeteria, very familiar place to her. She opened her eyes slowly. She was right, she was in hospital cafeteria. She waked up and took around the place. At her favorite table, there were some nurses , a nurse was whispering something to some nurses, assuring no one was around them. When the nurse looked around, she couldn't miss her, standing close their table. But she kept whispering, like she didn't see Cristina at all. Cristina was really unfamiliar to this situation. Cristina had never ignored by anyone, in her entire life, but a nurse, even not a doctor ignored her. This could be not a reality, this definitely, was a dream, really terrible dream. Suddenly, a idea hit upon her. If this was a dream, she would have some fun with her 'dream' situation, so she made her mind to come to nurses and eavesdrop them. Carefully sneaking up, she tried to listen to.

"I heard Yang and Burke making some noise last night in on-call room" A nurses said.

"Jealousy? " Another nurse asked.

"Definitely, At least ten nurses are jealous of her because he is incredibly hot. But Yang, she is a bitch. I can't understand why Dr. Hot do go out with her." Nurse said.

"No body knows about them well. By the way, you don't win mine" Another nurse said.

"Go for it!" A nurse said.

"Meredith Grey slept with Dr. Bambi " Another nurse said.

"What? Oh, are they together, really?"

"Definitely not. Grey cried in the bed last night. "

"Shut up. How did you come by that?"

"I heard Grey talking to Karev and a few minutes later, Bambi screamed out in the hall, no one could miss it."

"They, Bailey's interns are really pains in the ass."

"Absolutely"

Cristina was shocked by them. They were talking about what happened six years ago. On the day, George had his arm broken and Burke brought George to their apartment. Any science, any knowledge she had learned could not explain this situation accurately. She was so confused. It seemed that all people in this cafeteria acted like they didn't see her at all.

_**"**__**This should be a dream. In any minute, I**__**'**__**ll find myself in my bed.**__**"**_

She talked to herself. There was nothing she could do to make this situation better, so she just looked around and started searching out her person and friends. So she decided to head afor the basement, where her person would hide herself. As soon as she turned around the entrance, there were Meredith and herself. There were coming in.

Both were sitting down the table. Meredith was looking around the cafeteria and saw some nurses watching them and gossiping something. Present Cristina approached them but Meredith and six-years-ago-Cristina acted like they didn't see any living creature close to them, just like nurses. Seeing them, present Cristina really bothered. Because they acted like present Cristina was a invisible to them. It was really terrible experience. Present Cristina had no place to go so she decided to be with them and sat down with them.

"Can I get some peace in this hospital?" Meredith asked.

"What do you mean?"Cristina said.

"Seriously why everybody in this cafeteria steal a glance at my face, again, again?" Meredith said.

"Because they are jealous of you." Cristina answered, drinking her coffee.

"Why are they jealous of me?"Meredith asked.

"For your infinite sexual ability" Cristina said.

"Shut up." Meredith said.

"O.K" Cristina said.

"Will George talk to me someday, won't he?" Meredith said.

"Someday, he has to, I think" Cristina asked.

"Don't you think I'm a horrible person?" Meredith asked.

"You always have been a horrible person, but, I don't care that." Cristina said.

"Why not?" Meredith asked.

"I have been a more horrible person than you. " Cristina said.

"That's why we are friends." Meredith said, smiling a little.

"Exactly" Cristina answered.

To present Cristina, this was really familiar conversation. She did know exactly what they were gonna say next. Even if all people in this hospital treated Meredith as a mistress and a whore, to Cristina, Meredith was her family and sister, and only her person. Then, a woman she had known very well, was approaching to her, looking at her curiously, and started saying. But, Meredith and six-years-ago Cristina seemed they didn't see her approaching.

"Cristina, what are you doing here?" A woman asked, dropping her jaw down.

"I don't know. What are you doing here, Dr, Grey?" Cristina answered.

"I am living here. Can you see me?" Ellis asked.

"Yeah, I think so. Did you dead six years ago, in this hospital?" Cristina asked.

"You're right. Then you can see me, right?" Ellis asked,

"Oh, why can I see you? No one can see the dead people. This is not a SIXTH SENSE MOVIE!! It's non sense." Cristina shouted.

"You're right, but dead people can see each other. I don't know why, but, in my experience, it's true. " Ellis said.

"Then, you mean I am a dead, too?" Cristina said.

"I think so. Cristina, What happened to you? You're bloody , some doctors would have some cool surgery on you, definitely." Ellis said, looking at her.

After hearing her, Cristina saw her bloody outfit, then, suddenly her all outfit disappeared, soon she saw her wearing scrubs. Cristina was shocked.

"Holy, crap. What is this?" Cristina screamed.

"Cristina, I think you just join my club." Ellis said.

"No, I was supposed to come back this hospital today. I have to meet Meredith, right now. This is a dream, really terrible dream."

"You are in denial. That's the first step in accepting death." Ellis said.

"Is there any evidence which can tell me I'm dead, if it isn't I can't trust you." Cristina said.

"O.K how about this?" Ellis said confidently and she could see herself and Ellis looking at a patient in ICU.

A patient was lying on the bed with a lot of medical machines and oxygen line. Cristina could find her name, on patient's chart. She could see Meredith crying. She was sitting on the chair, next to the bed. She was holing her person's hand tightly.

"Cristina, you'd better wake up. We have to talk about things what happened to you and me, recently. Please, try to do anything, for me. Just, try. You can't give up."

Ellis broke the silence.

"As you see, Meredith was talking to you now. I thought you were dead but, the monitor says you are in coma. You seem to get brain and cardio surgery. If you are not gonna wake up in a couple of hours, doctors have to call the brain death, Cristina."

"I don't wanna die. I don't even have a will." Cristina said. Crying Meredith made her feel miserable. Cristina put her hands on Meredith shoulder but she seemed to feel nothing. All of sudden, Cristina was scary.

"Well, honey, I'm sorry I can't help you. " Ellis said.

"No, you can't say that. You are a greatest surgeon. You have to know everything . Figure it out!" Cristina screamed at her.

"All I know about our situation is that we can go everywhere we want to" Ellis said, looking at her sadly.

"Don't you think you are not helping?" Cristina said sarcastically. She couldn't take this situation anymore so she made her mind to leave the room. When she turned the doorknob, she found herself in Burke's apartment.

Present Cristina was coming in the bed room and sitting down the chair.

Six-years-ago-Cristina was lying on the right side of the bed. She was wearing jean and shirt, she must has not changed her clothes after coming in, she must be tired. She seemed to sleep in peace. Then someone was coming in the apartment. It was Burke. Burke was coming in the bed room and standing at the bed room door, seeing her sleep in jean. Approaching her, Burke was sitting on the his side of the bed and kissing her cheek slightly. Stroking her hair very gently, he saw her face and said very sweetly.

Then, Cristina stretched out her arms without opening her eyes, smelling him and put her hands around his neck and said sleepily.

"You, here? I had a really sweet dream." Cristina said.

"Cristina, I think if you change your cloths, you would have a better dream." He pulled her body toward himself and put down her on his lap then whispered Cristina's ears softly.

Cristina kissed Burke's cheek slightly, opening her eyes. Burke was seeing her, smiling happily. As soon as she opened her eyes, she couldn't resist making a happy smile to him.

"Cristina, you are not smiling when you wake up. Do you know you are smiling to me now?" Burke said, hugging her tightly.

"I'm not waking up, yet. I'm still in a dream with you" She hugged him, too.

"Is it a nice dream or a bad dream?" Burke asked.

"It is an incredibly sweet dream."

Burke said nothing. He just hugged her tightly and looked at her face.

"O.K Sleepy beauty, if you let me go, I can change your clothes." Burke said.

"Oh, how kind of you." Cristina said.

Burke started undressing her jean and after finishing the job, he took a look at her slowly. She was just lying on the bed with only purple shirt, closing her eyes, smiling. Her black curly hair spread out randomly on the bed. Whenever he saw her white and slim legs and her black hair spreading out his bed, he couldn't help but kiss her passionately. He unbuttoned her shirt hastily. Finishing it, he started undressing himself. And he kissed her lips, hugged her tightly and started feeling her silky skin. His hands caressed her silky skin slowly all over her body. Suddenly he felt his heart beating. All muscles and nerves urged himself to do more, but he would like to feel her quietly and peacefully. In this time, he would like to take a time with her. It was so peaceful that he could forget all serious, urgent and nervous surgeries and patients he had today in hospital. She was a beautiful muse to him, today.

Holding her in his arms tightly, he whispered to her ears.

"You know , you make me happy every day." Burke said.

"Well, I don't know you love cleaning the mess-up" Cristina said, kissing his chest.

"I love cleaning the mess-up by just you" Burke said, smelling her hair.

"So, I will do my best for messing up more for your happiness." Cristina said.

"Anything what you wand" Burke said, smiling.

"Lucky for me" Cristina said, holding him tightly.

"I have never thought that I could fall for a woman so deeply like this."Burke said.

"I have never thought that I could share my apartment with someone" Cristina said.

"I love you Cristina" Burke said, quietly

"If there is a person could be heard that comment from me, it would be definitely you" Cristina said, kissing his chest again.

"I love you, more than anything in the whole entire world." Burke whispered again.

Present Cristina was looking at them, at the bed room door. She couldn't believe this. Six years ago, they looked so happy, together. But, now, she was alone and might be dead. What a joke!! How do I get through this? What do I do? She kept asking, but she couldn't find the answer except idea she didn't want to die.


	11. Chapter 11

_**C**__**hapter11. **_

_**I have something to tell you.**_

Burke was standing by the O.R table, putting on his hand on the table, looking at the table where she was lying on a few minutes ago. All nurses and doctors had come out, he was alone. He found himself barely breathing, he couldn't believe the fact he almost lost her in front of himself. Whenever he closed his eyes, her bloody body came to his mind. Last years, he had pictured her to himself repeatedly, her smiling, her dancing and her working. But Cristina lying on the O.R table, it was not what he could picture of. She was always confident and hard working in his dreams. Even if he was not with her, he was always proud of her medical achievement and her fame. All magazines and journals wanted to have an interview with her. Her name was all over the magazines. But, maybe, now, she could not wake up, never have a surgery. Suddenly, he couldn't take a breath. A few minutes ago, a nurse talked to him where Cristina was. But he couldn't move his legs at all. He was afraid of seeing her in the patient room. She was the person who examined the patient, not was the patient. She was not supposed to be in the bed. Burke couldn't see Cristina lying on the bed.

Present Cristina was in the patient room with crying Meredith. Meredith kept talking to lying Cristina. Present Cristina tried to hold Meredith's hand repeatedly, but it was in vain. She was angry of this.

"What do I do, now? Cristina asked Ellis.

"Well, I have no idea. " Ellis said.

"This is seriously ridiculous." Cristina said.

"All I know is you have no time." Ellis said, looking at Cristina.

After hearing Ellis, Cristina felt powerless as if she had nothing to do for saving her patient in the O.R, except looking at the patient dying. Being a surgeon, she made her mind that if she had a terminal cancer or had a disease which had no cure and she was dying, she would go home and greet the coming death with a smile and she would not be afraid of dying. It was her plan, her perfect plan for her dying. Even if she had not made her will, greeting the coming death was in her mind since she had entered medical school. In a few hours, she would been called the brain death. She wanted to be comfortable, in her place, in her happy place. She tried to find the place where she was happy, where she was comfortable.

"What are you thinking about?" Ellis said.

"Do you remember I said I wanted to have both, love and career?" Cristina asked.

"Yeah, I remember. I said to you I didn't try harder" Ellis said looking at Cristina.

"I failed, too" Cristina said.

"I know, honey" Ellis said.

"The guy, I loved, ruined everything. Then, how did you know?" Cristina asked.

"I just knew all what happened in this hospital" Ellis said.

"I thought I will be happy if only I have the career I always have wanted" Cristina said, a little sad.

"I'm sorry for you. Cristina" Ellis said.

"But, now, I can know I have never been happy. I don't know where I have to go for dying. I don't have a comfortable my own bed for rest." Cristina said.

Ellis was holding her hands and looking at her, with a sad face. They were coming out of the room, leaving Meredith behind.

Cristina found herself in the O.R gallery. Ellis was by her, sitting on the chair.

"Richard said you reminded him of me. So, O.R was the most comfortable place to me" Ellis said

Suddenly, Ellis was standing up and lifting the curtain on. As soon as curtains lifted, Cristina saw Burke was standing by the table in the O.R. He seemed to try to take a breath. He seemed to cry. Seeing his crying made Cristina feel sad. Cristina stood up in spite of herself, and coming to the window.

"He seems to be a good surgeon." Ellis said.

"Yeah, he is the best" Cristina said.

"And, he seems to be a nice person." Ellis said.

"Well, that's the guy who ruined everything in my life. So, I have no idea about he's a nice person." Cristina said.

"Come on, Cristina. You are dying. Is that all about him you can say? I know everything. You seem to forget the fact I am the dead. And you're such a bad liar. Good surgeons have to be a great liar!! " Ellis said.

"I am the best liar in the world" Cristina said.

"If I had had more time, I would have been a good mom for Meredith, I would have played with her, would have had vacation with her. " Ellis said.

Ellis' confession made Cristina feel sad. But accepting sadness was not what Cristina usually did. So she pretended to be O.K and said.

"Me, too. Meredith and I didn't trip together, didn't have much time for play. " Cristina said.

"As I spoke, you are a lousy liar. Cristina" Ellis said.

Cristina couldn't take eyes off him. He was still standing, without moving. She would like to hold his hands really, but she didn't know how to. When she could hold his hands, she literally didn't accept the fact she wanted to do and to be with him, now, when she could accept the fact, she couldn't do. How ironic this was!!

For a short time, she was seeing him. Cristina heard someone in. She looked at him, turning around the direction, Ellis was not there. It was Denny, the guy Izzie loved.

"Cristina. What are you doing here?' Denny asked.

"Well, I am dying, I guess." Cristina said.

"Why are you imitating what Meredith went through a few years ago? I know you and Meredith are good friends even if you don't imitate her. " Denny said.

"What do you mean?" Cristina asked.

"Meredith was same to you, she was drowned herself, then, what did you do to yourself?" Denny asked.

"What? Meredith was drowned herself? Really?" Cristina asked.

"That's not the point. You are not supposed to be here." Denny said.

"Yes, I really don't wanna be here." Cristina said.

"Definitely, you didn't try to suicide yourself." Denny said looking at her.

Denny and Cristina was looking at him through the window. He was walking out of the O.R. Denny looked at Cristina with curious. Then, he grabbed her arms and brought her to somewhere.

It was Denny's patient room. Present Cristina and Denny was turning the doorknob and coming in. Denny was lying on the bed and Burke was standing by the bed,

Through the window, Izzie and Cristina was passing by, chatting and smiling. Burke and Denny were looking at their passing by. Burke was smiling to Cristina, but Cristina didn't notice that. Denny was wondering why Burke smiled.

"Dr. Burke, why are you smiling on your intern? Denny asked.

"I was not smiling." Burke said.

"You have to answer me because I want to know you are my competition, even if I have a bad heart, I can fight my beautiful girl. So, answer me." Denny said.

"Don't worry, a tall, blonde Dr. Model is definitely not my taste." Burke said, smiling to Denny.

"Oh, Izzie told me you and Cristina were living together. I just forgot." Denny said.

"Cristina told me, too, Izzie and you are having a relationship." Burke said.

"Well, I don't want to excuse for that. I know it's against the rule., but it was inevitable, you know" Denny said.

"Yeah, there is no one else in the world who can understand how inevitable it is better, than me." Burke said, looking at Denny.

"I can see that" Denny said, looking at his serious eyes.

"It's against rule, but, we have no choice but to do. "Burke said.

"By the way, why are you smiling on her, now?" Denny said.

"The reason I am smiling is not medical." Burke said.

"Come on, Dr. Burke, I am a criminal and so are you. We have to cooperate for making it, with our beautiful girls. So tell me your knowhow. Give me some tips. Making the patient feel better is your job, I think. So, please do your job." Denny said.

"Last night, Cristina said to me, no, Cristina said to sleeping me that she loved me, she thought I was sleeping but I wasn't, I clearly heard. But that's not the reason I am smiling. The reason I am smiling, the day she said she loves me at first, was the day I bought this ring for her. Of course, she didn't know about the ring at all. That's why I'm smiling on her." Burke said, taking out the ring fron his coat.

"Are you gonna propose her, tonight?" Denny asked.

"Well, I really love to, but, I think she wants some time for accepting the feeling, love. I can wait for her. " Burke said.

"You are falling for her, seriously," Denny said.

"Yeah.. So, I can't judge you. I'm on your side." Burke said.

"We are screwed, both of us. So good luck for us." Denny held Burke's hands tightly.

Denny and Cristina was seeing them. They seemed to be happy and hopeful. But, one of them dead and was standing by her, the other was alone and miserable.

"Do you still resenting him about walking away at the church?" Denny asked.

"I don't know. I mean, I did but, in this moment, I just don't know" Cristina said.

"Leaving behind you, he suffered a lot. He had missed you and he had wanted to get you. He just had thought letting you free, it was the best thing he did for you." Denny said.

Cristina couldn't say anything. After the wedding, she kept trying to hate him, but it was in vein. As time passing by, she knew she just wanted him back, to be with him, wake up in his arms every morning. She wanted to go back to when she was a stupid intern. If she could, she would live another life with him, she would not let him alone and be suspicious of her love. She wanted to make him happy. She wanted to make herself happy. She really wanted to go back.

"What do I do for going back?" Cristina asked.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter. 12 Don't go anywhere.

Burke was hesitating to open the door. He had never hesitated to come in the patient's room, but at the first time, he was afraid of seeing the patient. At the bench, in front of the room, there was Meredith. She seemed to be crying, sitting on there. Obviously, she had job to do, but, this time, she couldn't focus on her job, just like him. To Meredith, Cristina was her own family, Burke knew that. Something happened to Meredith and Cristina, regardless of it was good or bad, they talked to each other all. Cristina was the first person who would know about what happened to Meredith, even before Derek, and vice versa. That was their rule. They were each other's persons. Burke couldn't pretend to not see her. If something bad would happen to Cristina, Meredith would be the person who would suffer the pain as terribly as he would. Since his coming back, they had not a chance to talk about Cristina personally, it was likely that she, just like other friends, seemed to dislike him, but he knew how happy Meredith was about her coming back. So he wanted to be with her. Burke sat on her side but they didn't know what to say.

"She had the vow." Meredith said broking the silence.

"What?" Burke asked, a little surprised.

"No one knew except me. She had wrote it and practicing it in my bed room." Meredith said, with sad voice.

"I don't know that" Burke said.

"If she would be aware that I told you that she had, she might kill me." Meredith said, almost crying.

"I'm sure she would" Burke said.

"She wanted to go Paris with you, in honey moon. She said when our internships would end, she would be on personal leave and go honey moon. Paris, is her favorite city. When I wondered where Derek and I should go in our honey moon, she told me so I went Paris." Meredith said.

"She had never mention honey moon" Burke said.

"And she also said, falling in love with you was her single mistake she had made in her entire life but in reincarnation, she would choose you for her love again. Of course, it was before the wedding, she must have loved you" Meredith said sobbing.

"….."

Burke could say anything. Meredith talked to him about he really wanted to hear in Cristina's own voice.

"After your leaving, she barely ate, barely slept, she just cried every day and night. Then, she disappeared. Leaving Seattle, for almost one year, she cried on her cell, in every rainy day, and whenever she had the on call duty. After she met you accidently in Mass, she had to take a therapy with a shrink and take a sleeping pill for her insomnia for one year. Can you imagine Cristina take a sleeping pill and have a shrink for a guy? I know this is all bull shit, but the reason I told you this, if Cristina heard me saying this to you, she definitely would wake up for kicking my ass or killing me. So, I am telling you this, not for making you feel guily about ruining my friend, just for making her up. I know you think I'm rambling. Right, I'm rambling. My sister was dying in there, what else I do? It's funny I am talking to you, the guy who ruined my persons' life terribly. I really have to hate you or I have to kick your ass off instead of Cristina, but I can't do that. Your face, you look as miserable as I do now."

Meredith couldn't finish her lines because of her crying. Burke held Meredith's hands and started crying with her.

"Meredith, I think we have to say good bye to her at least." Burke said, looking at Meredith.

Meredith said nothing, but they were standing up same time and coming in Cristina's room.

Cristina had no idea where she was. It was definitely strange place to her. Denny, who was being with her even a few minutes ago, just disappeared and she was alone. She looked around the place, it looked like an overly neat person's apartment. As soon as she looked around, it reminded her of something familiar. It was very similar to her and Burke's apartment, but this was a little bit big. She slowly walked to the living room, there was his trumpet, on the corner, close to the window. At the shelf, there were Eugene Foote CDs, his collections. All stuff were organized neatly, looking around the place made her smile. She thought he had not changed so much. She moved to his bed room, and opened the door, she could smell like Burke. His bed, over stripe-patterned bed sheet, was well made, it was clean and when she approached to, she could smell Burke, much stronger than when she opened the door. His smell made her laughing, made her recalling the happiest moment in her life and made her want to live, strongly. She sat on the bed and reached out her arms to the side table to pick up the photo frame on the table, wondering what kind of picture was in it. As soon as she saw the photo,she was sad and at the same time glad. She was looking into it, for a little while. The photo was very familiar to her. Because it was her.

Her smiling photo was taken by him, at their apart, when their first together Christmas day. She was taking a bath in booth, of course naked. Then suddenly he was just walking in without any knocks and started taking pictures of her. At first, she tried to escape from his digital camera, but her trial was put down by his hug and kisses. He hugged her behind and stopped her from running from the booth. When she kept on resisting, he lifted her with his string arms into the air and rotated her like a top. And he threatened her if she didn't agree with him to keep rotating her until she threw up. She was really dizzy and couldn't help but to say O.K and she had to pose on camera naked in front of him.

"Burke, if you want to make porn films , you have to go shares with me. Because I'm very well paid person." Cristina said, posing up, with smile.

"Don't' worry, the only lucky person who could see your naked photo is just me." Burke kept taking pictures of her and said.

"This is my first nude modeling experience, am I good at? What do you think?" Cristina said.

"You are doing great job. Keep at it!" Burke said.

"After my work, you are gonna do the same job, in front of me." Cristina said.

"You know, I do whatever you want" Burke said, kissing her lips passionately.

He had the photo of her, on the bed table, that meant he was not getting married to anyone. He was single, also. She could exactly know how he went through the pain in last six years, how lonely he was after the work and how sad he was in every night on the bed. That made her painful. At his bed room, there were at least 10 photos of her. When she opened the his closet drawer, she could find her favorite red T-shirts, with hood, printed at the front side "STANFORD" When she moved out to Mass and unpacked her stuff, she tried to find the shirt all over the place but she couldn't. So she thought she lost it. But Burke had kept it.

Suddenly, as soon as she smelt the T-shirt, her tears were running down her cheek. It smelt Burke. She could picture of him, grabbing the shirt, trying to smell her and missing the happy life together. After leaving her, he still had loved her, just like she had loved. She wanted to hold his hands, hug him tightly and kiss his lips passionately. She couldn't loose him again. She had to go back to him. But, how, how can I come back to him? She couldn't find answers.

Meredith and Burke was sitting by Cristina. They both said nothing. Cristina looked peaceful, Burke could see her face enough close to find out she lost some pounds. Her skin was soft as he felt. Slowly, he moved his hands on her face, and touched her softly. He was astonished by the soft and silky feeling but she didn't respond. Burke was looking at Meredith. Meredith was praying and whispering something. Burke held Cristina's hands, again, tightly. Burke couldn't send Cristina like this. This should not be the last time for them. But Burke didn't find the way. Suddenly, the idea hit upon him. Bailey and Dr. Webber told Burke about what Cristina did to Meredith and said to her when she was in coma. If that way had worked out on Meredith, Burke thought it would work out on Cristina. So Burke walked to Cristina's feet and grabbed them. And started talking to Cristina.

"You can't walk away from me. I have something to tell you. Just, run toward me. If you can't find the way toward me, just follow the any light or any voice. Then, you can find me the way. Just, walk way from the place you are in now. Don't stop. Just keep walking along any road. Please, Cristina. All you need is just running. If you are not here in any minute, I would never forget you. I'm telling you. You have to be here in any minute. Run, Cristina, Run" Burke didn't stop talking.

Meredith saw Burke. He was desperate. Holding her feet and crying, he was doing his best. Meredith was holding her hands and started praying again. Actually, she had no idea how to pray for god. So she talked to the one, she and Cristina had respected and the person who was likely to know everything.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13. **_

_**C**__**an you hear my voice?**_

Cristina was sitting on the bench in front of the hospital entrance. Many people were coming and going. They all seemed to be very busy and of course they didn't see her. Literally, she was an invisible. She was alone. As usual days, it started raining. But she couldn't feel the rain. Her black curly hair seemed to be not wet, at all. Realizing not being wetting, she was being hopeless. It was likely that she had to go with her death, There was no way to be normal and a physical person. Now, she would never make cynical remark to Meredith and never have a cool surgery. From this moment, she was gonna be a dead people. Some people who would miss her from time to time, will be just Meredith and Burke. Like her dad, had passed away long time ago, she just would be forgotten. She was sad. But, there was no way. She couldn't' help but to accept that. Tears welled up in her eyes and started running down. Wiping out them, she heard someone coming to her.

"Get up. " Ellis tugged at her arms..

"Hello, you are not my boss so you can't order me, now." Cristina said.

"Cristina, you don't have time" Ellis said loudly and seemed to get a move on, really.

"I think I have so god damn much time for everything. I don't have anything to do, except for sitting down here " Cristina said.

"Hey, can you see the man coming out of the entrance? He is wandering here for last a few minutes. I'm sure he is a brand new dead guy. I saw him coming out of the O.R2. So just move your ass." Ellis yelled at Cristina.

"I'm sorry I don't get it." Cristina said.

"You are so stupid. How could Richard compare a stupid like you with me? I can't believe that you are good at heart surgeries. Get up now. Hurry. I don't care how sad and melancholy you are now and how regretful you are about your arrogant life for. It it all useless. You get it? In this moment, beside your bed, Meredith is crying since you have been there. If you are not gonna wake up, Meredith, my girl will be left alone again, she has no family, no sister and no friend. Already, she had lost real mom and fake mom. Her dad had not had a word with her since Susan died. So I don't care about the fact you were dumped a man or you were being a very promising surgeon. All I care about right now is my daughter, my baby. Listen to me, Cristina. You have to listen to me. You are all Meredith gets. You are her family, you are her sister and you are her best friend. She is praying for me to make you come back. If I don't help you, If I don't make you back, then I am gonna be the worst mom in the world because she has never asked me for something, even she was a little child, she had not asked anything. This is her first and last asking. So, I have to hear her. And you have to let me do that. I made her life sad and alone. I can't do again. You have to let me hear her, you have to let me do my-mommy-job. Please Cristina. Hurry."

Ellis was crying. Ellis' sad voice made Cristina's crying worse. In front of the hospital, even if they couldn't see both woman crying, the best surgeons were crying like children, holding their hands. Cristina saw Ellis, carefully. Ellis was Meredith's mother but, in this time, Ellis was Cristina's mother, too. Ellis was really caring about Cristina. Ellis touched her face and wiped out her tears softly.

"Cristina, even if you failed before, I think you can have both still. You are the smartest and best. The whole hospital can see that. But that doesn't mean you get all thing very easily you want. Life is very tough. For something, it is a piece of cake to you, but for something, you have to work you way through. You just have to take a chance. Running away is not always the best answer. Cristina, just don't give up. You can still have both. I can see. You know, before I died, I was the best. So you should count on me. And the guy who is in your room now, with Meredith looks like a very decent man and he really loves you, cares you. So go back to them. And have your life successfully, enjoy yours and make yours the best. You can make it." Ellis told Cristina.

"I don't know what to say. Maybe I am not the smartest." Cristina said hugging her.

"I think you are right. And tell Meredith that it is in my butterfly-shaped jewel box, in the attic. And I was really happy for that. " Ellis said.

"Is that your secret code?" Cristina asked.

"Just go away now. You better run." Ellis pushed her. Cristina looked back to her and started running.

Meredith was really exhausted. All doctors who come by Cristina said there was no chance. They also said she had to prepare. But, she couldn't throw away her hope about waking Cristina up. Meredith took a look at Burke. He was glaring at Cristina, with very sad eyes. Meredith stroked Cristina's hands.

"You know, Dr, Burke, if you make her wake up, I will do everything what you want me to do. I promise. " Meredith said.

Burke could feel her desperate hope, and so did he. Meredith was her friends and his previous interns. He was the person who would make her feel relaxed and teach something. So he thought he had to do something for making her feel better.

"You just promised that. Well, all I want is being together. You just made a deal with me." Burke tried to smile to Meredith. When he saw Meredith, she was smiling a little to him.

"O.K" Meredith said.

"Let me try. All a sleeping beauty needs is a prince charming's kiss, " Burke said, looking at Meredith.

"Oh, if Cristina heard that now, she really would be pissed off." Meredith said.

Taking a deep breath, he slowly moved to her face and brushed her lips with his and kissed her, softly. The kiss was for waking her up but Burke couldn't breathe because of her softness and sweetness. She was incredibly sweet. It seemed her lips were made for only his lips. He couldn't take his eyes off her lips and her face. In the moment, he wished the magic would happened, against the science, all logic he had learned. He just wished. He wished he could feel her breath again, feel her lips and he wished he could kiss on her beautiful lips. He just was glaring at her face, motionless.

Then, her monitor started beeping. The beep sound was too loud to miss it. Burke and Meredith got up like a spring in a jiffy. They were looking at each other. Her b.p was going up and monitor showed them she is waking up. Both of them didn't know what to say. They was just looking at each other and looking at Cristina.

"You seem to be the best prince charming in whole entire world" Meredith said, with a joy.

"I think so." Burke said, his tears started running down.

Cristina opened her eyes up. She could see Burke and Meredith crying, dropping their jaw down.

And Meredith's voice was getting loud. She kept calling her name but she couldn't answer right way. Cristina felt her throat being clamped up something. She couldn't make any sound. All Cristina could was murmuring a little. She tried to make her body move, but her body didn't move any inches. She could move nothing but her eyes freely. Then, Meredith came into her view closely.

"Hey, can you hear me?" Meredith asked in a hurry.

"Meredith, she seems to not be able to make any sound right now, I think she needs a few seconds." Burke said slowly, with keeping his eyes on her eyes. But Meredith couldn't stop talking.

"Cristina, you have to make a sound, right now. Just like I did when I opened my eyes, in front you, say something." Meredith said.

"….ooouch…." Cristina said slowly, with a slight voice. As soon as she finished saying, Cristina's tears started running.

"Oh, your brains works really well, definitely." Meredith shouted, with a joy. Meredith turned around and talked to Burke. "Her brain is fine, I'm sure."

Burke was thanking God for saving her life, in deep his heart. Burke could see Cristina looking at him quietly. He couldn't realize his leg trembling until he saw Cristina breathing safely. After Cristina said "ouch", he could feel tired and drained.

Then, Meredith said to Burke.

"You win. I have to make good my words. So, I'm leaving." Meredith smiled to Burke and turned around Cristina, started saying.

"I'm sure your Prince charming has the wonderful kiss skill. If you are not gonna hook him up, you definitely regret that for rest of your life." After finishing lines, Meredith turned around and started moving. And Meredith came near Burke, she whispered something in his ears. Of course Cristina couldn't hear that.

"Now, all is yours. I hope you're doing good this time. Don't even mess up. Prince charming never make cry Princess." Then giving a wink to Cristina, she left the room.

There were only Cristina and Burke. In any minutes, some doctors would be in the room for checking out Cristina. Both were quiet. They didn't make any sound. Burke approached her closely and sat on the chair by the bed. He was looking at her, quietly and so was she.

Burke tried to find out some words but anything good didn't hit upon his head. So, he decided to do whatever his body wanted to. After giving up any verbal words, his hands and heart ordered him to feel her. Slowly, he moved his hands to her hands. Her hands were incredibly warm and soft just like he remembered. Holding her hands tightly, he started saying.

"How are you feeling?" Burke asked.

Cristina was quiet. Burke hoped she said something to him. He really wanted to hear her voice. He thought her voice would make sure she would be fine.

Suddenly, he could feel her grip, holding his hands tightly. He was surprised. And seeing his surprise, she started saying.

" I'm considering going to the police about a thief who stole my favorite shirt six years ago."

Cristina's voice was very weak and she was so pale. He blamed himself for not noticing her status. He should have noticed she was very tired and she had to take a rest. He was a doctor. He should have made her take a rest or sleep, but he couldn't help asking to her. Making a promise to himself that he would leave in a minute, he started saying.

"What do you mean?" Burke asked.

"Don't pretend to be innocent. You stole my shirt" Cristina said, with her weak voice. But Burke saw her slight smile around her mouth.

Then, some doctors were coming in. Burke got up for leaving the room. Then, he felt a her grip again. She was holding his hands more tightly than a few seconds ago. He felt a mixed feeling. Cristina wanted him not to leave. This day was the best and the worst day in his life, he thought, sitting down the chair again. And he looked at Cristina's pale face.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Chapter13. All we have to do is just waiting._**

****

Christina was lying on her bed. A few minutes ago, some doctors who had come to check on her left. Except Dr. Bailey and Derek, other doctors was really excited about she had waked up through the coma. They were really excited and said to her it was a miracle. Of course, she had kicked them out, she really didn't want to hear any religious and spiritual. The only person, she had hoped not to leave, Burke had to go for a emergency surgery. He said to her he would be here as soon as finishing his surgery. So, she was alone again. Slowly, she looked back the situation she had met Meredith's mom and Denny, thinking Meredith's mom's words. She had told the she would have both again. But, she had not mentioned how to do. She really wanted to go back to Ellis and asked her how she could do.

"God, This is ridiculous that I hope to be in coma, again. So ridiculous."

The moment, the door opened. Meredith came in.

"Why are you talking to yourself?" Meredith sat down the chair by the bed and asked.

"Nothing. Are you going home?, aren't you?" Cristina asked.

"I just called it a day. So I am here. No work anymore" Meredith said,.

"I'm sure your little girl is really looking forward to seeing you." Cristina said.

"Yes, Derek went to pick her up so I had time for you. Don't worry." Meredith said.

Cristina saw Meredith's face. She was really happy for seeing her again. Cristina couldn't hide her feeling so she was smiling to her.

"Why are you smiling? You don't smile when you are in bed. You seem to have some head injury." Meredith said.

"Like I said before, Meredith, sarcasm doesn't suit you." Cristina said.

"O.K Stop being happy." Meredith yelled at her.

"Meredith, I have something to tell you." Cristina said.

"Then, go for it." Meredith said.

"Promise me you wouldn't laugh at me, seriously. I don't have any hear injury, my brain works really well. Anyway, I don't talk to you until you made a promise." Cristina said.

"You are really weird, now. O.K I promise" Meredith said.

"I saw your mom" Cristina said Meredith, looking at her carefully. Expecting her cynical remarks, but Meredith was smiling to her slightly.

"So?" Meredith said.

"Don't you think I'm insane?" Cristina asked.

"No, I think you couldn't remember I went through the whole coma things. Believe me, I don't think you are insane. Just go ahead." Meredith, said.

"O.K this is weird both of us went through the coma and survived and met the dead people. Anyway, your mom wanted to tell you this. She said, 'it is in my butterfly-shaped jewel box, in the attic. And I was really happy for that'" Cristina finished her lines and looking at Meredith's eyes.

Meredith's eyes welled up. Slowly, her tears started running down. But Meredith didn't seem to be upset and sad. She seemed to be glad. Meredith didn't say anything and held Cristina's hands tightly.

"So, are you not gonna say about her mention?" Cristina asked her.

"No. I'm not." Meredith said.

"Oh, come on, you shouldn't treat messenger like crap. Meredith!" Cristina yelled at her.

"Time to healed. You have to get some sleep. Cristina. I will sleep on that and let you know tomorrow morning. " Meredith said getting up.

"Recently, I can't sleep soundly. It is likely that I have to take sleeping pills again" Cristina said.

"I'm sorry hear that. You wanna call a nurse?" Meredith said.

"No, I'm being Cristina, I can handle that for myself. " Cristina said.

"Don't try to walk around for some good cases because the Nazi is on call tonight. If Dr. Bailey finds you in nurse station, she would make you miserable in rest of your life, I bet she will." Meredith said and got going.

"O.K, Bye" Cristina said. Then, Meredith turned around, at the door, Meredith said.

"You know what, thanks for not dying." Then, she left.

After Meredith leaving, time passed a few hours. It came to midnight and she couldn't' sleep in her own bed. Cristina watched raining through the window. Whenever she tried to close her eyes and fall asleep, the raindrop kept her from sleeping soundly, but she kept trying. She could not give up until the raindrops were getting loud. She was going out of the bed and walking to the window. She had thought she wouldn't be alone anymore in Seattle. But, it was her delusional. Being alone in her own patient room, she was really, alone and sad. So she made her mind to do what she had done whenever she had felt alone and sad in Mass. She hurried up to come out of the bed for doing something involved with medical. She knew if she would come down the O.R, Bailey would find her and kick her out of the room. So the O,R was the one place she never dare to walk around. So she picked the place, which was a very busy and had something simple, of course involved with the medical. That was the pit.

When she came in the pit, some nurses and doctors seemed to be very busy. All beds were filled with the patient and some people were screaming so loudly. No one could realize her, that fact would ease on her. She slowly moved and saw a male doctor, looked like an intern, who seemed to be clueless with a screaming a boy patient. The boy was bleeding, his back covered with blood, seriously. Whenever the intern tried to do something like dressing, the kid screamed louder and louder. Cristina didn't life the little patient usually, but this boy's crying made her feel something. Loneliness, scariness, his eyes told her about that, which she really hard had denied for last some years. Talking to herself, the kid were just a patient to need dressing or something medical, she moved her feet to the kid.

"What's the matter?" Cristina said to the intern.

The intern looked like he would know her.

"He is a T.A patient. His parents are on surgery, both. I have to do dressing his back, but I can't let him stop crying. Whenever I touched him, he just freaked out. I just don't know what to do for stop him crying" The interns said without any confidence.

The boy was screaming when he saw Cristina. Cristina found something odd on him. He couldn't even make eye contact with her at all and didn't make any sound except for screaming. She thought he would be a autistic kid. So she just crawled on his bed silently and held the kid in her arms and started rocking the kid.

"I know, you feel alone and abandoned now, but, that's not true. Your parents are in surgery and will be here with you in a minute. I'm sure they will. Do you know how I can know that? Because I'm a surgeon, a really good surgeon. So you can count on me. Even if, you feel miserable and scary now and you are being alone here with some very strange people, it doesn't mean you can be hurt or something bad will be happening to you. Just wait for your parents coming with me here. I don't sing a lullaby but, I can be here with you until your parents come. Of course, you have to get dressing done before. If you don't let him do his job, Dr.Bailey would kick off his ass, definitely and your scar would be infected. Why don't you let him do his job now?"

Cristina said to him incredibly sweet and didn't notice Dr. Bailey coming to the bed where she was with the boy. Bailey was looking at her talking to the boy. In her arms, once the boy stared at her and stop the screaming. Bailey and the intern looked at them with surprised eyes. Bailey couldn't believe this situation. Her intern, who had had the worst bed side manner in the world, was rocking a baby, holding him in her arms, and talking to him, like she was his mommy. Bailey was really proud of her. Then, Cristina talked the intern. And the intern did dressing on kid. The boy was holding her arms so tightly, and Cristina couldn't leave him. So Bailey were approaching to them.

"Dr. Yang, nice job. No body will believe Cristina Yang can rock a crying child!" Bailey said, giving her a little hard time.

"I had dated once a pediatrician." Cristina said, shortly.

"O.K. But, you have to know this. If you are not with this boy, I will physically kick your ass. You're not a doctor, you are a patient. All patient in this hospital are supposed to be in bed, taking a rest. Are you clear?" Bailey said.

"O.K, but no offense Dr, Bailey, I really want to be in a bed, seriously, If I leave this boy, he is gonna start crying, seriously, that will not bother me at all, because I will not be here anymore, that will bother all people, nurses and doctors in this pit, including some patients. So I'll be here just for some people. That is the point." Cristina said.

After Bailey left them, Cristina could sleep with him in her arms. She hugged him tightly. She could see his sleeping and hear his breathing. With his quiet breathing, she could relax and she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

About two hours, Burke came in to pit. Because his patient, now was in ICU, asked him to checking his son and he promised him to do. Burke asked the nurses where the boy was and when he approached to him, he could see Cristina and the boy were sleeping soundly in a very small bed, hugging together. They looked like they were having a great dream and were very happy. So in a few minutes, he staring at them, standing by them, and stroking Cristina's hair gently.

Cristina felt someone stroking her hair. And slowly she opened her eyes and saw him. He was standing by her and looking at her eyes. As soon as his deep brown eyes, she couldn't breath. She was astonished about her body still could remember any his touch and couldn't say any sound out of her throat because of her tension and slight body trembling. Thankfully, he started saying something.

"His parents will be fine. Their surgery went good. And you have to be in a bed, right now."

"I really want to, but if I leave him, he is gonna make this hospital be a football ground. " Cristina said.

"I think he is gonna be alright. Taking care about a patient is doctor's job. You are a patient for some days, taking care of this boy, it's not your job. So, you have to leave now." Burke almost ordered to her.

"Hey, as your saying, you can't order me anything. Threatening a patient is not definite;y doctor's job, either. And I'm not scared by anyone. " Cristina got out of the bed and started moving toward the entrance.

Hearing her sarcasm and wit, made him feel better. That was what he had missed in last few years. He couldn't help but to smile. In Seattle, he and his only Cristina could start again. It was a very happy sign for him. At first time, in last few years, he could feel something warm and happy deep down himself.


End file.
